Funnies

I've been downsizing my magazine pile and found some funnies, hope they bring some laughter to your weekend, or any day you need to laugh!

Wacky Fact: An English architect named William Kent designed the first baby carriage around 1773. It was shaped like a scallop and pulled by a goat.

"My 2 year old daugther found my sanitary pads in the bathroom one day and asked what they were. I told her 'those are mommy's band aids'. A few days later, while our neighbors were visiting, I cut my arm. Eager to help out she rushed to the bathroom and came back waving a pad and saying 'mommy here's your band aid!"

"I was getting dressed when the doorbell rang, so I rushed downstairs to answer the door. As I was signing for a package my 3 year old daughter came running down the stairs dangling my black lace bra and shouting 'mom you forgot your boobs!'"

Wacky Fact: A baby is born every 8 seconds in the United States. That's 11,205 per day and just over 4 million a year!

"One morning I asked my 4 year old son how he had slept the night before. He said not well and then asked me how I had slept. I told him that I had not had a good night's sleep either and wasn't sure why. He replied 'maybe it was the music in Daddy's nose.'"

"My 6 year old daughter was watching me mix cake batter in the kitchen. When she asked what I was doing, I told her I was making strawberry shortcake. She stared at the bowl and was quiet for a while. Then she asked in a soft voice, 'are we really going to eat my dolly for dessert?'"

Wacky Fact: 36% of women had four or more kids in 1976. 10% of women today have four ore more kids.

"I asked my 4 year old son to think of an activity we hadn't done in a while. He suggested using the computer. I replied ' you just did that, what haven't we done in a long time?' He perked up a bit and said 'I know we could clean!'"

"When I was 8 months pregnant I was outside with my 3 year old son. I accidently tumbled out of my chair. He came running over to me, and I thought his concern was sweet until he looked down into my face and said 'can you do that again?'"

Wacky Fact: A fair wage for the typical stay at home mom is estimated at Salary.com at $131,471 a year, (including $88,009 for overtime based on a 100 hour work week).

" Our 4 year old son surprised me one morning by leading me to a perfectly poured bowl of cereal and milk. He explained that he got up early to make my breakfast since I hadn't been feeling well. After I told him I appreciated his thoughtfulness he asked, 'Now can you make me some pancakes?'"

"My husband isn't always patient when he drives behind slow, elderly drivers, and his attitude seems to be catching. I was mortified when my 2 year old pedaled her tri cycle past an older woman and shouted 'Outta my way Grandma!'"

Wacky Fact: The most popular names for twin boys: Jacob and Joshua. For girls: Hope and Faith

"My 2 1/2 year old son found the condoms my husband keeps in the nightstand and thought they were candy. I quickly told him that they were Daddy's medicine. One day my very religious grandmother was visiting. My son came down the hall wearing a condom on his hand shrieking 'Mommy it's not daddy's medicine, it's his glove!'"

"My 3 year old son asked me why babies stay in their mother's belly. I told him that a mother's stomach is kind of like a house and babies stay there safely until they're ready to come out. The next day he asked his pregnant pre-school teacher if he could see where her baby was going to come out!"

Wacky Fact: The most common month to have a baby is July. Tuesday is the most common day of the week to have a baby.

" My 17 year old daughter and I were watching a scary dinosaur movie. Just as two T-rexes were pulling a man apart, my 3 year old toddled into the room. My mind raced to try and think of how to explain the gore. Before I could say a word she said 'Oh look, those two dinosaurs must be friends, they're sharing their food!'"

"We were visiting a ranch where children were lined up to ride horses. My 6 year old daugther was trying to decide which horse she wanted to ride. She suddenly pointed to the smallest one 'I want that one Mom' she said 'because I can reach the pedals!'"

Wacky Fact: Disposable diapers were invented in 1949 by a woman named Marion Donovan, a mom who made them herself and sold them at Saks Fifth Avenue. She got $1 million for the patent rights. It's now a $17 billion a year industry.

"Our family was visiting a place where elk roam through the town. My dad told my 4 year old son interesting facts about the elk. Later while we were watching the animals munch leaves from a tree my dad asked my son 'which one is the daddy elk?'. He replied 'the daddies are the horny ones.'"