Monday, May 26, 2008

And Not to be Outdone......

In the blink of an eye, Kathryn started rolling over this week. She was playing on the floor and I went to make lunch- when I returned she was on her stomach! She's been rolling from her front to her back since about three months, which is just craziness to me! The day after she rolled over she got up on all fours and started rocking back and forth. She's only done that once, but I'm holding my breath-is she going to be an early walker? With two little people to chase after already I'm enjoying her immobility. Watching someone learn skills for the first time does not get old though. It was just as exciting to have Nick whip out the camera to take pictures of Katy's first roll-over as it was for Isabella's. I wonder what she'll be doing next.


This is one of my most favorite pictures of Brooklyn. I love that it was spontaneous and her smile far outweighs the scar on her forehead.
I have watched quite a few movies which I would classify in the 'cathartic' genre. The ones that aren't necessarily made to cause you to weep, but should you be in that place in your soul, it will evoke enough emotion that the floodgates can burst wide open and you just have a good cry, which sometimes is all you need.
'The Holiday'; 'Reign Over Me'; and 'P.S. I Love You' were the movies that provided this retreat for me over the past few days. I have been in a frame of mind which causes me to carry the burdens of others without being asked or invited; without knowing the degree to which its affecting the actual person it affects; and my sharing of the load probably means little to nothing to the person in the situation.
It has been so much easier lately to carry other people's "stuff". Not because I'm hiding or running from anything in my life, but because they actually have "stuff" to carry. I live a very mundane life right now. The same schedule day in and day out; butt wiping after butt wiping; meal after meal; bedtime routine ad naseum. I find it a struggle to remember that my "stuff" is just as important as the dramatic "stuff".
These movies were especially cathartic for me this week because all of the drama caused in them was a result of terrible pain and loss. I already know how fragile life is and I do greatly appreciate the little things; but these movies were a Hollywoodesque exclamation point to what I already know, and it was good for the soul.
I'll never get over the incredible plumber's butt both Isabella and Brooklyn have. When do they get hips!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Mother's Day.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Bags and Shoes

Raising three girls is going to bring me way out of my comfort zone as I learn to view this world through their eyes.

Fact: I own less shoes than my husband.
Fact: Our closet is split 60/40 in his favour.
Fact: I think practical when dressing the kids not fashionable.
Fact: I like to call my hairstyle swept up, but its real name is lazy.

Isabella already loves accessories. She will wear a hat anywhere and in any situation. She has already asked me for a (working) cell phone. She likes lipstick so much she'll colour her lips with marker to get the desired effect. In our front hall closet there are a tonne of shoes; I'd say 50 pair, 7 of them belong to me.

I think I'm going to like getting more in touch with my feminine side though. The above shoes are for Isabella and the upcoming wedding she is in as flower girl. I had been on the hunt for the 'perfect' pair of shoes, and was actually giddy when I found these.

Girly might not be so bad afterall.

Thursday, May 15, 2008


April 4th wasn't the best night in my life. It wasn't traumatic and is not on my list of Top Ten Things I Would Only Wish on my Worst Enemy, but it isn't a night I'd like to return to, ever. The details aren't all that important, but the night began with me taking all three girls to Costco and it ended with us waiting in our dead van for Nick to rescue us. Rest in peace, Ford Aerostar, we will miss the convenience of you.

Since then we have been 'without'. Shortly after the fateful evening our Bible Study group was talking about excess. How we should each have a garage sale and instead of spending the money on a treat; give it to a charity or use it to reduce debt. During that conversation someone deemed a vehicle as a necessity, rather than a luxury, in our society. If we lived in some parts of Mexico or Africa a vehicle would be a luxury. Yet here it is a necessity.

Shortly after our van died we poured over our finances, trying to decipher how we pause our debt reduction efforts and stretch our selves to the limits in order to afford a car payment. We were looking at financing because in our situation it would be the wisest way to spend money we don't have. We found a vehicle that fit our needs, and attempted the credit process. It didn't work. We could look around and see the difficult financing situation the economy is in and find solace in that, but really being denied a debt is a blessing.

A few weeks later a sermon was preached in our church about prayer. Focusing on a cycle: we pray in faith, our prayers are answered, our faith increases, we pray for bigger things. When broaching the subject of how to pray the preacher stated: pray for specific things. (It makes sense, how else will you know if your prayer is being answered?). Nick felt led that we should be praying for a vehicle to be provided for us without us having to go further into debt and that the vehicle would be provided when we needed it.

At this juncture we do not have one. But we have yet to miss church, we have not had to haul home groceries in the rain. Our insurance policy allows us to pay a premium without a vehicle so we don't have a gap in our insurance, the scrap yard gave us enough for the van to cover our bill for the attempted repairs. Our next door neighbor, whose name I don't even know, has lent Nick his truck to get to and from work each day, one of the pastors at the church has been lending us their van the way a parent would generously give to their own children.

While being without a vehicle has been hard on me, (I definitley have felt 'without'), I have surely felt the peace of all the negative things I am truly 'without' in this circumstance. To have been approved for financing would have been more debt to shoulder. It has caused me to cast light upon all the things we have been afforded; provided for, taken care of, remembered when we're not in the room, loved.

I feel as though I should feel guilt that I have children and cannot provide something that the society I live in deems necessary. Instead I feel trust, that in the end, before the burden becomes too much to carry, we will be provided for. That security is something I hope to never be without.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

In a Toy Shop

Thursday, May 01, 2008


Wikipedia defines perseverance as a term for human endearance and if they thought to put a picture with their definition, Nick would be it. For almost ten years now Nick has been pursuing his call to ministry. It is a call confirmed by many who know him and strangers alike.

We've spent the time we've been in Ontario actively pursuing this call. Nick has been doing an apprenticeship and it is amazing the growth in him over the last 20 months. In writing a letter to the church to thank them for our time here I said; "truly he came to you a beaten lump of clay, and now by God working through each of you he is a jar ready for God's purposes for him." Sadly, Nick's time to be apprenticed has come to an end. To the surprise of many Nick is not yet an accredited worker in the Alliance. At his interview in January it was deemed that he knows all he needs to know, but it gets a little lost in translation between his brain and his mouth.
Life keeps on keepin' on though and while we haven't quit this pursuit it's a bit on the back burner right now. Nick is working on his explaining and interview skills while working a new job doing demolition for a construction crew. As a family we've decided to spend the next year just working and living, taking care of each other first. We are always open to God's timing and have no idea how long this breather will last, but we are determined to continue growing without moving on.
It amazes me daily how much Nick continues to give to this decade long process and as we wait to see when the next step begins I find much peace in this Proverb:
"There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord. The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord." (Prov. 21:30,31).
We know that Nick has been called by God and on God's timing he will bring this call to fruition. I am so proud of Nick today for continuing on against all odds to be what God wants him to be.