I don't know how a face this cute is going to be attracted to so many disgusting things, but she sure is. I thought I had a poop story, and I was ashamed to share it, until Jen shared hers and I realized this happens to a lot of us.

Earlier this week Belle had a nap and she was so quiet the whole time. Usually I put her down and she chats to her teddy bear for an hour and then falls asleep for an hour. I thought to myself, 'what did I do to tire her out and how do I do it again every day?'. It turns out her quietness was just her being mischevious.

She was wearing a sleeper on which the buttons pop open a lot, and this time she decided to wiggle her little legs out of the cuffs and remove her diaper. I guess she was tired of being poppy and for some reason didn't feel telling me she was dirty would get a change. She put the poopy diaper in the corner and then I think she fell asleep. At some point she then peed. All over the bed because her diaper sure did not re-attach itself to her bottom.

Gross. So then I removed the "mattress" she sleeps on. See, Belle sleeps in a Graco Pack and Playyard and has since she was born. It does not have a mattress with sheets and such. The "mattress" is a sheet of MDF with a bit of padding and covered in the patterened cloth. You cannot remove the MDF without ruining this set up and so you cannot throw it in the washing machine or take it to a drycleaner. All you can do is get out the liquid soap and a cloth and scrub the surface. That's fine, except for all that pee that has soaked itself into the padding!

Now I have an aunt who sews a lot. And when we move to Ontario I will be taking it to her and we will problem solve, (probably along with our husbands and 90 other relatives) how to get the MDF out, replace the padding and put it back together, but until then Belle is sleeping on a once soiled "mattress".

This made me feel like an awful mother. All I can think is that my child is breathing in pee every time she sleeps! And so it was decided that Baby #2 will have a crib and thanks to AS IS this has become a reality. But it got me thinking of the other things I will be taking to Once Upon A Child (our local consignment shop for children's furniture and accessories), and the way my thinking on parenting has changed.

For example. We have a baby carrier. But Belle was a tiny baby, and we may very well always have tiny babies as I'm a smaller person, and we felt she was going to fall out of it everytime we used it. That will be taken in and replaced. And our monitor, why did we even buy one? Because the baby books said to. But we live in about 500 square feet of living space, maybe, and a crying baby does NOT need a microphone. Then there's the annoying toys you would have never bought your own children but people without children have "blessed" you with, and the breastpump I bought will be going to waste as well, and is a whole nother post in itself.

I so wish I had the personal power to say "screw you" to all the baby experts and just do it my way. I mean yes, Belle peed in her bed, but I cleaned it with a good soap and hot water. I even turned the mattress around so her feet are usually near where the pee was spilt, but all I wonder about is who is judging me? And why do I feel they have the right to? I am a good mother. I really am. I hope that getting over that is a lesson I can learn as I prepare for Baby #2 and now I need to go find a vinyl crib mattress.