A Quick Happy Update

Over the last two months you have all shared in our financial struggle and heart ache it brought with it and I am so happy today to write and let you know that the struggle is over!!

I had thought that the situation we found ourselves in just before Belle was born was going to be the toughest of our lives, but through this move we learned that God had other plans. There was quite a lot of stress last week as our bank account was in overdraft and there appeared to be no light for paying the bills for October. Stressed would be an understatement actually. I found myself dealing with the same feelings, wondering why God would call us to his service and then make it so hard. I begged him to remove the sign I must be wearing, the one that said "Give me another trial, I'm tougher than I think I am!". But I begged him when it was just the two of us, (or the three of us when Nick was home). He taught us so much last time around. It's okay to share your struggles and ask that people pray for you. But once you've asked just leave it there and go on. We learned to leave our stress at home and go out and live life. Although I don't think I would ever wish to repeat August and September 2006, I can say I enjoyed them and grew threw them.

As of last night my EI benefits have been processed and I did fill out the form right to be retro paid the 8 weeks pre baby!! What a relief. I did however forget to fill in the direct deposit part and so there is a cheque on it's way, instead of it going into the bank. It's so nice to know that it's coming. Also, today was Nick's first day at his second job!! He called them and when they said "um, maybe we'll get around to it next week..." he stood up and said "actually I need to start right away." and start he did. We figured out his schedule for October and November, (he can change his availability or the number of hours he wants each month). And for the next two months he'll be working 52 hours on weeks one and three and 60 hours on weeks two and four-between the two jobs. He is doing it to provide for us and help us move financially forward, but we don't serve money and if he is too worn out we'll figure out another plan in December. We both think he's up for the challenge physically and mentally, but it is going to severely limit his "daddy time" and he's not sure how much of that he's willing to sacrifice. So, we continue on but are so thankful for the opportunities God has given us to provide for us.

The sacrifices we're making to be here and to follow God's will for our lives will continue to be tough, but if we learned one thing it's that God honors our realness with him. I don't have to put on a happy face, and I don't have to pretend I'm all good.

Thank you so much for honoring my request for prayer and for all you said for strength for me! I feel like the weight on my shoulders could have been so much more, and it's because of you that it wasn't.

I wonder, now that I don't feel stressed maybe my body will relax enough and I'll FINALLY HAVE THIS BABY!!!! October 14th is just too far away!!

Curse of the ER

Now I know that most everyone has pegged Grey's Anatomy as the hospital drama to watch. I don't know whether or not I would be a fan as I've never taken the time to watch an entire episode. But, I have faithfully been watching ER since it first launched, I believe 11 seasons ago. I was there as one by one the original cast left and moved on to other projects. I've seen them die, get married, have babies, come out. I've been there for it all. Once the original cast was gone many people abandoned the show, but I have fully embraced the newbies as each one entered the scene. So much so I actually considered not joining a Bible Study because it's on Thursday nights and would conflict with the show. (I could tape it if my babysitter wants to watch it as you have to watch what you're taping, but I'm not sure I could ask that of someone).

Anyway. During both of my pregnancies there have been people on this show expecting. With Isabella it was Doctor Carter, (Noah Wylie) and the girl whose name I can't remember right now who is also in movies. For those of you not familiar with the show, this pregnancy ended in a still birth and the two of them breaking up and ultimately Mr. Carter leaving the show. You can only imagine the stress of a brand new mommy and daddy-to-be witnessing people go through a traumatic event like that. And while I am aware that this is just a tv show, it's the one I talk about like they're my friends. I feel very connected to the characters and it was quite distressing for us. But, Belle was born just fine and dandy.

And now Abby and Luca are having their own baby related struggle. In last season's finale the ER was shot up and Luca was taken hostage, made paralyzed and Abby fell and caused trauma to her abdomen. In the season opener last week, (which played according to schedule may I sarcastically add), Abby ended up having an emergency C-Section at 26 weeks and a hysterectomy as they couldn't get the bleeding under control. So there is this tiny little life on this show we watch in an incubator. I know that this is reality for so many people, and there is no indication that I will have to face it. But like I said I feel like I know these guys and I think about them and their fictitious love and the baby they didn't really create from Thursday at 11:00 to the next Thursday at 9:59 and it causes us some angst.

I can separate reality from tv, I am not in a dilusional state. I do not send them emails wishing their baby all the best. But I just can't shake it from my mind. The pain that people who endure this must be experiencing. I watch how they have them react on tv and wonder if I would really be that calm. Would I really only cry that much? Would Nick really only throw a garbage can at a mirror?

Perhaps we should all stick to a hospital drama that wont really cause any stress. One with cases so out there it's virtually impossible we'll have to go through them. House anyone? Who am I kidding, I already watch it and the autistic kid this week sent me into a flurry. However, I'm not willing to give up tv so I will just use it for cathartic reasons, (who doesn't bawl at Extreme Home Makeover?), and a great excuse for web searches I shouldn't be doing becuase they'll only scare me more.

So, put up your feet and grab your favorite snacks. I guess TV theme songs are the new soundtrack of our lives.

For everyone on Babywatch....

I think it would be wisest for you to get a hobby. It seems that this child is going to be just as stubborn as Isabella! I was so hopeful for good news at the doctor's this morning as I've been feeling quite a bit more pressure and have had a lot more episodes of tightening, but all this is to no avail. The Dr. says that while my cervix is totally soft it isn't dilated at all. The baby's head is also still a bit high. But in his most encouraging voice he announced his prediction that as soon as the baby's head makes contact with my soft cervix it will be off to the races. He anticipates this labor being as short, (or shorter), than with Isabella and that was only 4 hours!! It was very sweet of him to encourage me in that way, with this voice that said 'I can't tell you how long you'll wait for it to start, but it will end quickly!'. We have friends who are 'on call' and available any time day or night to come be with Isabella so that's not stressful and, much to our chagrin, Nick has yet to start working at his second job so we are ready to go anytime with minimal disruption. As for inducing, if nothing has happened by next Tuesday, it wont happen until I'm 7-10 days overdue. My doctor prefers for the body to do it's own thing on it's own, which I agree with no matter how tired of being pregnant I am. So it looks like the baby pool sealed my fate! Curses on you all. Just kidding.

Enough Already.

I was just reading through an issue of Parents magazine and they honestly cited a study that links bedwetting with formula fed babies. I'm not wanting to get into an argument/ discussion/debate/anything about formula versus breastfeeding. But seriously. There are millions of children starving in this world, why can't we just pat ourselves on the back for finding a healthy alternative for women who chose not to breastfeed!! Why do we have to try and propoganda them into believing they're causing their children a world of hurt if they don't breastfeed!! Ugh. In Calgary I was introduced to a group of women who are "maternal feminists" and if I don't stop this rant right now I am going to end up on a soapbox about that too.

Let's blame it on hormones. I just wanted you all to know there's no baby yet! Although after reading the above paragraph you probably figured that out, lol!!

Introductions

Life has gotten a little boring around here. Just waiting for the baby to arrive and the women I currently know work full time so I don't have much to do from Sunday after Amazing Race until Survivor on Thursday. I am a pretty social person, but became quite the hermit while living in Calgary. I didn't so much like the hermit phase so I took my first step back into the land of the living-I started going to the Ladies Morning Out at the church. I've only gone one week so far and we ended up a bit late so I had to just sneak into the back. I ended up next to the current worship leader who felt the need to share 42 times. Now I'm not a shy person, as long as I go to a new situation with someone I know, so this was a bit of a stretch for me. There was the obvious two clicks, young mothers and old mothers. I am so intimidated by the young mothers, but not exactly looking for a best friend in the old mothers. It's going to be interesting I'm sure. We're doing a study all together as a group which is great as I can take my time to ease in and meet people and do my best to meet them I will. But that's not what this post was supposed to be about.

Afterwards I had to wait around to register because of the late arrival and while awkwardly waiting by the table people came up and introduced themselves to me-sorta. See they all assume that because Nick knows them he's told me of them and I therefore should know them. It is true that 90% of the people I can link to a story Nick has told me, but not until an excruciating explanation to Nick about what they look like!! So very funny. I'm really not sure how to handle the awkwardness of it all. Right now all the conversations start the same:

"So you're excited for the new baby?"

"Yep we are!"

"That will be a great way to spend Christmas."

"Yeah, I'm hoping I don't go too overdue this time."

"So when are you actually due?"

"In about 10 days."

"What????" then awkward red faces and a lot of back pedalling etc. etc. "Are you sure? You're so small."

"You're right I'm actually due in January but this way maybe you'll go buy me a present and bring it next week!"

What do they mean am I sure? It's true I don't stick out way in the front, but my hips are officially on opposite sides of the continent!

Ah the awkwardness of meeting new people! At least making sure I''m polite and not laughing at them keeps me from peeing myself. Seriously, where do those muscles go???

Could this be the last one?

We had a busy, busy weekend, which is very fun to say because so many of our days have been humdrum and boring. On Friday we had a BBQ with the pastoral staff to formally meet the people who work at the church and their spouses. It was at the Sr. Pastor's home and while I would definitely not use the word "stuffy" to describe the pastoral staff I had no idea what to expect. There are quite a few close talkers in the group and the first hour or so was spent with them talking to me, I began to get a little uncomfortable, but luckily I have a toddler who provides the perfect escape at just the right moments. By the end of the evening we were all sitting around sharing our most embarassing moments, and let's just say I now know some of those people a little too well!!

Then on Saturday we were heading out to dinner at a friend's place. There are a few couples who get together once a weekend and kinda swap turns cooking. We have been invited to join them since arriving and so didn't think anything of it when we got the call with the details for this weekend. Upon our arrival though we realized we had been dupped and it was a surprise baby shower!! I totally didn't even expect it as we don't know the baby's gender and most women I know love to wait until they can go ga-ga over the little pink or blue outfits. It was just two extended families at the shower and man did they spoil us. We got a bunch of beautiful yellow outfits and a few hundred diapers. Such a good time. I'm not very good at being the center of attention, so everyone decided it was gift time and continued talking while I stealthily opened all the presents, making sure to make eye contact and thank the giver, but without having to have everyone look at me. It was great. After the crowd dispersed and it was just us and the two couples we usually get together with we started chatting and chiling and suddenly realized it was 10:30pm!!! I thought that maybe it was 9:00 at the latest as that's when Belle starts to walk into things in sleepiness and she had just started to. Where does the time go?

Nick and I came home and were watching television. There was a marathon of "Dog the Bounty Hunter" episodes and Nick is definitely addicted to that show. We stayed up until 1:00am watching that, what were we thinking? At around midnight I started getting some pretty intense tightening in my abdomen and my lower back started to ache. It was happening about every 10-15 minutes and I started to think 'this is it! Our baby is on it's way!'. I didn't say anything to Nick because I didn't want him to be disappointed if it wasn't and as I've never been in early labor before I had no idea if it really was. I tried to go to bed but they just kept on happening and I laid there awake until 4:00 when it just suddenly stopped. Oh well, better luck next time. Since then though I've been totally distracted by every twinge or feeling of uncomfortableness, I'm just not good at this waiting thing!! Of course in total irony I have yet to pack a bag for the hospital. I'll probably have been sitting here for three weeks doing nothing but restlessly waiting and still end up unprepared! Wouldn't that be funny.

Update and Thanks

I just want to say thanks to everybody that took a second to comment on my last post, Circles and if you haven't please do, or if you have and thought of something else feel free to keep commenting. I'm not taking any steps until after the baby is born, but I have started gearing up to step out of my comfort zone and make this happen, so all comments are appreciated!

As for the updating portion. We're still the same. I had my 37 week check up today and yep, still pregnant, still doing what I'm supposed to be doing, nothing happening at a faster pace than it should. We're having people over for chili on Sunday so I will consume half of it, even though I hate chili, and hopefully that will get things going, (just kidding). The hearbeat has slowed to 138 and I am still gaining about a pound a week and the Braxton Hicks are remaining thus and not becoming labor. Nick had his interview today that was supposed to be his first one followed immediately by his second and training starting next week. The second interview has now been postponed to next Wednesday and his anticipated start date is now September 25th. I'm not sure I've mentioned the issues I've been having getting my ROE from my employer. If I haven't, I requested it two months ago and I still haven't seen it. I am now getting all sorts of people passing the buck on it and so on Monday went in and filled out a form so the Gov't can get it direct from my employer. I am now waiting for that magic piece of paper in the mail saying my EI claim has been processed. And hopefully once that is done I will find out I was told the proper info and will be retro paid to August 4 as I was told I would. So, we're still stressed but have both become pretty numb to the money thing. The bills come we put them on the bulletin board they get paid as the money comes in. Nothing more I can do about it.

We are however having a great time getting to know people and hanging out, God has truly been gracious to us in allowing us to leave our money struggles at home so we aren't missing out on life. We have some pals who recently lived in Australlia for a year and they have so many stories. And another friend who is a Jr. Kindergarten/Kindergarten teacher and those stories just melt my heart and cause me to pee my pants. Plus watching friends experience their first pregnancy is so exciting, and they're having twins so it's all new to me and I enjoy it so much. Total sidebar, but I know a lot of preggos read this. Our friends expecting twins found out the genders and they are having a boy and a girl. The boys name is seriously going to be Jackson Danger. And it totally fits them and their life and is just so cool. It just struck me as proof positive that parents know the right name for their child!

Well I could go on forever and ever because my kitchen is a mess and I just don't want to clean it. But I better, who knows I might go into labor tonight and then I'll have visitors and a disgusting kitchen. Powerful motivation. Can it last to the end?? Or will I just go play X-box with Nick??

Circles

Here in G-town I am getting to befriend some people that have only been acquaintances in the past. I am learning a lot from them and alot about them and it's very neat.

One of Nick's lifelong friends is a true gem when it comes to my current mental circle of whether or not to try and enter the entreprenuerial world. He currently runs a home based business of web page design/database creation and does contract work for his old employer installing wiring and alarm systems. He's very good at what he does, and it seems like he never works! Recently him and his wife found out they are expecting twins in the New Year. She currently teaches middle school music and piano lessons on the side. Since their family is about to double in size they have begun making the leap to buying their first home. It amazes me how his mind works. They are only considering properties that hold the potential for him to build an office and her to have a teaching studio, whether that be a garage they can convert or a few of the older style business' here that are homes in the back and business in the front. She hasn't even taken a day of mat leave and he's already taking logical steps to ensure she doesn't have to go back to work but can continue to work. At first I dismissed his business genius, I mean they both offer services that are "needed". But then I learned that he has always been like this. Never wanting to work for someone else, and doing what it takes to get there. And that's when he shared his first idea for entreprenuership. He had decided he would be a tape worm farmer. That's right, he would farm and sell tape worms to models. And he was seriously following up on this idea until he found out that someone had already beat him to it.

All of this talking with such an entreprenuerial spirit has me doing a lot of thinking about an idea I shared earlier for a home based business and I find that I just keep thinking in circles! I know where I am, (just having an idea), and I know where I want to be, (I can literally see my office and a successful day in my mind), but I have no idea how to get there! My original idea included wedding planning and scrapbooking. But I think that in order to be true to myself it needs to be just scrapbooking. I had included the wedding planning part because that's an accepted industry in my mind whereas scrapbooking is a hobby- and who can make a living from a hobby? I still have a lot of ideas for a wedding planning business and so I think in circles there, both or one or the other, and round and round it goes.

I have been seriously considering beginning by becoming a consultant for one of two lines of products. Either Creative Memories or Stampin Up. I find a lot that I can get behind in both companies, (their products, their philosophies, the charities they support). Iwas looking into the "buying in" part and it's not expensive. And I'm in the process of making a final decision so I can look to start in the New Year. I think it would be great if I could bring in enough doing this to just work part time until I actually become self employed.

But I'm trying to decide whether or not I'd be good at it. I've been to lots of "parties" for everything from Pampered Chef to Beauti Control and there are definitely good demonstrators and not so good demonstrators. I know that a lot of it has to do with passion and I passionately believe that all women have an inner creativity that needs to be expressed. I still have to interview/talk with current consultants to find out what the expectations are and so many other questions.

For now though I am trying to continue thinking about it and trying to get my thoughts linear and not just circular. So I'm conducting some market research today. I'm sure that everyone has been to some sort of "party" and had good and bad experiences. I'm wondering if you might take a second to tell me what was good about the experience and what was not so good. The things that the demonstrator did that you appreciated, the things that made you feel uncomfortable, the things that made you want to buy products-even if you didn't, and the things that made you want to go home and get back that few hours of your life. You don't have to be specific like what the party was for or anything. I just want to see if I really actually know what real women feel about the new wave of door to door sales.

Thanks for your time. And if you need some tape worms, I know a guy. LOL.

Learning Drop Shots

Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing I'm trying to learn to use Drop Shots so here is my first shot at uploading video. This is a great video sent to me entitled "PMS At the Mall". I find there are many things in life that make me feel like this, and at the end I laugh.

Secret Weapon

Today we learned the power of our secret weapon-Isabella's cuteness. We're in the process of changing our plates and licences and car insurance from Alberta to Ontario. We thought we had 6 months for this process, but unfortunately you only have 60 days to do said tasks. Fortunately the church gave us a "good faith loan" and we have the ridiculous amount of money needed to finish said tasks.

Or at least we thought we did. The dreaded Out of Province Inspection and Safety took place this morning. Being that we have a lease we take very good care of our car so as not to be dinged with hidden fees upon it's return. The car passed 98% of the inspection with flying colors. However, we got two chips in our windshield from stones on the drive out here. Two miniscule chips, but they are in the driver's plane of view and so must be repaired. Well actually the entire windshield must be replaced due to these two tiny chips. I must stress these chips are tiny, smaller than the end of my thumb, but will cost $400.00 to repair well enough to pass the safety inspection.

Or would they?

Enter Isabella.

We went back to the dealership as a family to pick up the car as we were going to switch over the insurance paperwork. Belle was in top form cuteness. Walking right into the office with a hearty "hello" for all who worked there. Nick asked politely, 'does the windshield need to be replaced or can I just have the chips repaired?'. Let me check with the mechanic says the nice lady. And she comes back, 'As long as they are about 80% less noticeable that will be fine.'. Sweet. So we head to the glass repair place. The man says no problem. But Nick double checks and the guy finally confesses 'I can keep them from spreading but they'll probably be just as noticeable.'. Crap, we're dupped. Back to the $400 price tag. But we stop by the dealership one more time. Nick tells the lady exactly what the repair man said. She notices a very cute sleeping Isabella in her car seat. 'Don't worry about it, you'll pass. See you tomorrow." Basically Nick just has to show up with a receipt proving that someone did something to our windshield and it will be saftey-ed. Sweet. From $400 to $40.

The best news we've had in 6 weeks!

36=36

I had my last bi-weekly prenatal appointment yesterday, which includes the ever so pleasant Strep B swab. Fabulous. I had arranged it so Nick could keep Isabella at home and I could go alone, but at the last minute Nick had a meeting and she had to come with me. I set her up with a granola bar in her stroller at the most out of the way place I could find in the tiny room. Sadly this position would give her front row seats to the happenings. I was a little afraid of that as she's very protective of me at the doctor and cries a bit. But the doctor saw the potential for problems and wheeled her around so she could see my face and not my nether regions-he is definitely my favorite doctor ever.

Now I get to go every week to see him until the baby is born. I am so ready to not be pregnant anymore this time around. But at 36 weeks everything looks exactly like it should and while there's only 4 weeks to go, which should seem like a short time, I was hoping there would be some indication that maybe there was only three weeks to go, or two, or none. The baby is doing fine: growing as expected and with a healthy heart rate of 146 this time around. So I'm very glad it's all good news. I just hope I only get four more updates at the most, and not six more like last time!

To do....Check.

I know that every expecting mother has a "to do" list longer than the gestation period of giraffes, and I am no exception. One of the things on our "to do" list is transitioning Isabella from her play yard to a big girl bed. When we first came up with this plan we bought a little toddler bed, but later returned it deciding it wasn't the most economical choice for us as she would just need a twin bed later on anyway. The toddler bed sure made this transition seem less scary as she didn't look like a tiny baby again standing next to it. This bed looks monstrous next to her! It's shorter than Nick and so I know it's not that tall. We moved her to the bed on Saturday night and she's been doing exceptionally well. I was all geared up for night after night of walking her back to her bed and firmly placing her there yada yada. On the first night we had about an hour of that and then I clued in that it was just a game to her and let her cry it out. She fell asleep hugging the baby gate at the top of the stairs. But when we went to bed we picked her up and placed her back in her bed and so she woke up there. I've not had to put her back in her bed more than once for the night since. I'm so thankful God gave me the energy to be consistent, (except for the one time she fell out and Nick fell asleep next to her and stayed there until he came up with the genius idea of folding a blanket to act as a guardrail!). I think it's safe to say that sleeping the night in the big girl bed has been checked off our list.

Nap time in the afternoon is a very different story! She doesn't cry, she knows that if she plays quietly we don't come up and so she does until she's ready to sleep and then we go up to get her and find her in all kinds of crazy places!


I guess it just proves that life is a never ending process. I'm not quite sure what we'll do once the baby arrives as her favorite place to play in the afternoon has become the nursery. Maybe she'll start staying in her bed when she realizes her brother/sister is in bed too.

Cuddle Bugs

Sometimes it's just fun to spend the entire day doing nothing but receiving spontaneous cuddles from a toddler.