Monday, July 30, 2007


On Thursday I go for the fourth ultrasound connected with my third pregnancy. I went at 12 weeks which I had not done with the girls in order to pin down the actual gestation of our little one. It amazed me how much the babe already looked like a person at that point, I think I expected a little more tadpole.

I then booked and marked on my calendar the glorious 18-20 week ultrasound. The one that most people videotape, or at least add to their wallet the picture to show everyone. I had the most wonderful technician at that appointment. She was chatty and informed and really on the pulse of new technologies. She had been doing ultrasounds for the last 20 years and we talked about how times had changed. It was a good thing as I was there for an hour and a half. The little one had the hiccups and decided that my spine was the most fascinating thing since sliced bread, (wait, since before sliced bread seeing as they don't know what sliced bread is.....). As soon as she saw it was going to be a bit on the difficult side to get the measurements she turned the screen so I could watch the whole thing! It was a real pleasure and the most any tech has ever talked to me so I will count it as a highlight in this pregnancy.

Unfortunately the little one would not flip over, or even half roll. She called in another tech. They had me wiggle, they had me pee, they had me roll up on either side. Nada. This little one played so camera shy I had to come back so they could get a good profile shot and a clear look at baby's heart.

Come back I did a week later. Profile shot, snap! But the heart, still not a good look. This tech however was not my favorite person. She used that little "wand" like some sort of lever to try and turn the baby over. I've never had anyone jam anything that hard in above my hip bone and down into my back trying to turn over another person inside. I nearly cried out of sheer pain, and I've delivered drug free--twice! She got some shots and then told me she wasn't sure the radiologist would be happy with them, I might be getting a call to come back. And I did.

So back I go on Thursday and I'm doing my best to just believe there are limits to ultrasound technology and they really can't see everything with their x-ray vision, end of story.

The first tech and I had a lengthy discussion about how much worry is caused while the baby is still inside due to the complicated and arduous scans us moms now go through. She was telling me that when they started they did pre-natal ultrasounds back to back to back. Now she does one in the morning, one in the afternoon max. I had to watch her literally massage her hand out of the grip she had on the "wand" when we finished. I can see it's taxing work.

And even though I'm a level headed person and quite laid back there's a huge part of me that believes there must be something wrong with this little one's heart and that is what they can't see clearly, exactly what is wrong and how wrong is it?

Ofcourse there could be nothing wrong at all, but for now it's unknown to me.


Lamb said...

The unknown is always nervewracking. Imagine how the baby feels. lol
Could you just imagine a conversation he or she might have with itself about what it was getting itself into. Learning that being born is hard work.

I know this is a little wierd but I have been up all night!!!!! I am just a little bit punchy. hahaha

Hugs to all

God bless


Jen said...

I hate the unknowns!

Amanda Brown said...

I wish there was a little window into the womb so you could look at the growing babe and make sure all is well. Also, I wish that boobs came with a little window, with ounces marked on the side, so you could see how much the baby actually drank. I hate the uncertainty too. I hope you can put your mind at ease soon.

Angella said...

Technology IS limited. But it can be worrisome. Big hugs!!

Elizabeth said...

I'm praying for you.