I woke up this morning totally full of emotion. I just had this sense that something was wrong, very wrong with the baby. Wrong as in the sense that the little life inside of me was not doing so well and may in fact never see the light of day. I have no idea where this feeling came from and why it came on this particular morning, but it did. I just couldn't shake it. I just couldn't stop crying. I tried to tell myself to calm down. To just eat and drink a glass of cold water and wait, I would feel this little one move, if only I could calm down. I guess I did calm down because the next thing I know I am in a rush to get out the door to my doctor's appointment as I fell asleep. And so off I went with a brave face, waiting to hear the worst, but not wanting to give off a vibe for Belle as she was accompanying me this time around.
I got the Doctor's office a few minutes late and so had to join the mass of people in the waiting room and wait for my turn. I had also been double booked as at first I just made the appointment for my Rohgam shot, but then we decided to do one last visit before the move. I am so glad we did.
The nurse came in and we talked. I told her a bit about my anxiousness, and she explained to me that some babies are "kickers and punchers" while other babies are "rollers and grinders". Belle was the former, this baby is the latter. She said that the rollers are much harder to detect movement on and cause quite a bit of concern the entire length of pregnancy as the movements are hard to detect. But in fact, all those things that feel like someone kicking under water are in fact actual baby movements and the pressure that feels like someone expanding a water balloon under my ribs is also the baby. She then went on to "prescribe" a time of evening rest wherein after dinner I HAVE to sit with a cold glass of water and wait until I feel 10 individual movements before I can continue with my evening. I think I like that prescription. She then proceeded to jab me in the right hip with a needle, I don't know why but the Rogham shot always hurts me and gives me a headache. However, she did smile the whole time so I can forgive her.
Finally the doctor got around to seeing me and I asked if there was anything I needed to be on the look out for while driving for 40 hours and spending three days in a row sitting down, and about signs of baby dehydration,
(we went to a Stampede Breakfast on Sunday and a lady regalled me with her story of a stillborn child she had due to dehydration-and that was in Alberta, oh how her eyes widened when I told her I was moving to Ontario and her gentle encouragement turned to Fire and Brimstone if I did not heed her wisdom. )
After asking my questions I positioned myself on the table and Belle beside me so we could hear the heartbeat and do the measuring. Out came my favorite piece of technology, the Doppler. Almost immediately that tiny heart was beating away and I was so relieved. But the doctor kept on listening, one minute, two minutes, five minutes. A look of worry washed over my face and she smiled and said "I'm just waiting for this little one to calm down!".
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?
Waiting for the baby to calm down? I haven't felt it move in 13 hours. What do you mean you have to wait for a 'resting' heart beat. This child is so still it's scary. But apparently not. With an active heart rate of 170 and a resting heart rate of 150 this child is gearing up for the Olympics in utero and I CAN'T FEEL A BLOODY THING!
And I have to wait how long until I can see this child?