Captured!

I take a lot of pictures, I'm in the thick of organizing like 20,000 of them. Literally. I like most of them. I love many. I could sit and stare for days at a few of them and this is one of those pictures. All on it's own without any story to back it this picture makes me giggle. It makes me want to smoosh Katy up in a huge hug. It just warms the cockles of my January cold heart.

We went to an indoor play center for a birthday party this weekend. There were tonnes of things to climb on and slides, a rock wall to climb, cool bike thingys to drive, a few other play centers I don't know how to describe and a dress up center. Katy and I were going down slides together and in the midst of our running around we found this discarded costume. She put it on and kept on playing. After she wore it a few moments I tried to get her to put it back for other kids to play with and she looked at me quite seriously and said 'My Monkey!'. We convinced her to take it off when it was time for lunch, but she found it again right away and wore it until we left.

I love that she loves to dress up. I love that she likes to do what makes her happy without pausing to consider what others might think. I love that it brought her so much joy. I love that I was there to share it with her. I love that it is forever captured on 'film'.

First time for Everything

I am one of those crazy people who loves winter. I love bundling up in extra sweaters. I love running inside for hot chocolate after being outside. I love the comfort food I make for dinner. I love watching snow fall. I love how excited Isabella gets when she makes snow angels. I love all the celebrations and get togethers that come along when there is snow on the ground.

But not this year.

It has been so cold, and up until last night I could still see grass in my neighbor's back yard. The most time I've spent outside is waiting at the bus stop and that is just not enjoyable. I think this may be the first year I've ever experienced the January blahs. And you know what? All you winter bah-humbugers can have them back! I am not a fan. Not at all.

And the main thing that makes the difference seems to be the lack of white stuff. Not having a few feet of snow around seems to have let the cold air go straight to my heart. I need it back to insulate my reverie.

I want to enjoy the winter season. Being stuck inside with the ones you love, extra time to scrapbook and read. Warm foods and warm drinks. I think I'm going to have to reclaim my love for winter, with or without the snow!

Family Funnies

When everyone is playing quietly, GET SUSPICIOUS!

Side note: Nolan totally did this to himself, he found a capless marker and was trying to get it in his mouth.

Singing with Meaning

I try to make a point of not singing a spiritual song unless I know what it means in my heart. There's a lot of songs based on really great theology and while I know the words I don't really know it and those songs I mostly just listen to and ponder. I find that knowing what the words mean in my heart helps me to connect with the song and really enter into a worshipful spirit on Sunday mornings.

This week we sang a song that I like and a phrase has stuck out to me: 'as I wait I'll rise up like the eagle'. I think I know what that means in my heart, about pressing on in tough situations without letting them have victory over you. But I have been questioning all week whether I know what it means in my life. When I think of things I am waiting on the Lord for, how can I rise up? What does that look like? Can other people see that I'm rising like the eagle, or should they be able to? If I mean what I sing on Sunday morning then my life should reflect it and this week I've been wondering if it does.
(These pics are of the girls in concert. Brooklyn making a surprise appearance at the church concert and Belle at her first school concert.)

Must be Santa

This year I learned a lot about Santa. Mostly from Isabella who has become quite informed since entering school. Did you know that you tell Santa what you want for Christmas and then he brings it for you? (Note to self: take kids to see Santa before doing Christmas shopping next year.) Isabella had a long list, mostly consisting of Barbies and Hannah Montana. Barbies I get, it's an inevitable rite of passage. But who told her about Hannah Montana? Not I. Isabella would decide she wanted something for Christmas and therefore begin asking if we could go to the Mall to let Santa in on her updated list. Too funny. She has not yet made the connection that she can also pester me relentlessly about what she wants to receive which is great! Nolan has no clue. Absolutely. No. Clue. People whom he does not know hold him all the time.
It took a bit of coercing to get Brooklyn to sit with Santa. As soon as she realized she could sit on a stool in front of him she agreed. Then I gave her a candy cane and told her I would open it once she smiled for the picture. If you look closely you can see her trying to get it open while the picture is being taken. Kathryn ran screaming for the hills, literally, hence the reason she is not in this picture. Next year we'll have two kids in school and I wonder what new things about Santa I will learn, and how many times we'll have to go to the mall. ;)

Unexpexcted

From June 2004 to June 2009 I spent 165 of 260 weeks pregnant. Which roughly translated means I spent 3 of the last 5 years knocked up. I wasn't all that good at being pregnant. I don't think anyone would try and keep a straight face long enough to say that I ever 'glowed', and I was uncomfortable, tired and grouchy. The return on those three invested years were well worth it, and I don't miss it. But I am having a hard time letting go.

Since before we even started thinking about making children a reality in our lives Nick and I have always wanted four kids close together in age and we have been blessed with just that! I do have a bit of a sad spot that Nolan is the only boy, but I'm sure he will have many 'brother's' outside our gene pool. It really has been amazing how quickly our dreams of a family became our reality, and although they aren't the 4 rough and tumble boys I pictured in my head in my pre-baby days they are the perfect kids for us!

And now it's time to move on to the next phase of life. Which I didn't expect to be hard. I have become so comfortable living in this space: being physically uncomfortable, not sleeping, living in 9 month chunks, nasuea, stretchy waistbands, swollen feet. When I thought of what I would be leaving behind that is what I thought of. I forgot about being included in the joy of the unknown expectation and being an integral part of God's amazing work of creation. While I was in the thick of it I thought more about freedom from heart burn than the tug of heart strings.

I am excited to see what the future brings, but this hard time saying good bye to the past is unexpected.