Transparent & Vulnerable

Don't you love it when your spouse makes a suggestion that you can't find a way to back out of? Last week we headed out to get pictures of the kids taken and had planned again to get a shot of Katy, a shot of Brooklyn and a shot of the sisters. Isabella's hair was incredibly awful so when she said she wanted to wear a toque I said sure. I then attempted to negotiate with her on which toque she would wear. She wore her regular winter toque, not the cute one I had picked out to match her shirt. When it came time for the photo she insisted on a prop, hence the flower. It has no meaning or explanation other than the fact that Isabella is Three.



As we walked over to the photo studio I was thinking about Isabella's wardrobe choices. Just as I settled within myself that having a picture of her just as she is would be wonderful, Nick threw me a curveball.



'Honey, do you think we could get a family picture today instead of one of the girls?' (Cue batting eyelashes).



I stammered, I paused, I searched, I begged for a good excuse to say no. I think you could say I've been a leettle overwhelmed as of late with the care of my family and personal hygiene has been shoved back on the shelf a bit. I'm not proud of it and I'm not sure why I feel compelled to even share this detail. I only managed a spit shine shower before heading out for photos, not thinking anything of it, I mean I was not going to be in the picture!.



Yet in good conscience I couldn't deny this request. How could I put my daughter in front of the camera just as she is and not be willing to do the same myself. I may blow up that picture and paste it upon my fridge as motivation to do something about the fugliness, but then again I may be able to draw upon enough grace to realize that nothing in that picture is fake. Not my wardrobe nor my lack of primping, especially not my smile.



We are happy, happy as pigs in slop I suppose.



Hopefully next time that happiness will show up with a matching hair-do and not hiding behind her children. For this part of the journey there is waging a war and I'm a soldier straight out of training camp.