Saturday, April 12, 2008

Strong as an Ox.

When I was pregnant with Brooklyn I was gripped with an inexplicable fear that something would go wrong while I was pregnant with her. For a few days I feared losing her, although I had no indication that anything could possibly be going wrong. That completely irrational fear abetted but in it's wake left me with a sense of uneasiness- an uncalmable dread that somehow she would not be 'quite right'.

I don' t know what caused that fear to hang around for so long. There are some days even now that I look into her eyes and tear up that I can still see their sparkle and relish in the moment the unequivocable thankfulness I have for her and that she's a part of my life.

Once I was gripped by that fear I began to pray. I prayed in earnest that Brooklyn would be strong in every aspect. Three hundred and sixty degrees of strong. We've always known that she is physically strong. Lately we've begun to see her strong spirit. It's not all that pretty sometimes. When she stands there with a smirk upon her face stomping her feet and swinging her fists it's almost as though she's laughing at me. I am a pretty stubborn person, but I don't think I have anything on Brooklyn.

I often try to romanticize her strong spirit. I imagine it keeping her from struggles in the arenas of peer pressure and body image. I imagine her doing amazing things with that strength like solving world hunger. I pray that it doesn't lead her down dark paths while she works out her faith. We watched the movie Flicka here a while ago and I can see her being that Wild Mustang, I wonder if there will be anyone who can tame her.

I am amazed at how thoroughly God answered my prayers for her, even the parts I didn't intend to pray. It boggles me how solidly she defends her turf, how stubbornly she sets her course and how fiercely she loves already. At only 18 months old she is amazingly strong, and although my prayer for her has been edited as of late, it's only that she would be able to be weak with one even stronger, and that she would always know there is a soft place to fall because we can't be strong all the time.


Bloggy Mama said...

Fantastic post, Amanda. I, too, had those fears when pregnant with Susannah. Isn't it great how the Lord provides such beauty in our children?

Lamb said...

What a terrific post, Amanda! I love to read how you see so much in your girls. You really should be saving your posts and putting them in a book to read later on in life. You have insight that only a loving mother could have. God is growing a strong in faith family at your house.
God bless.


Angella said...

What a great post, Amanda!

You have great insight :)

Will said...

lol, So Brook is gonna be the muscle of the family eh? Strong as an ox but is she still eating like a pig hehe :p. I love you guys man. Everytime you write a post about your girls it makes me happy just reading it, its the next best thing to being there watching your family grow together since I can't do that lol.

Lindsay said...

I loved loved loved this post. Its beautiful and I hope that someday you can share with with your daughter and she can see how much you care