Haunted

I am usually quite cynical. Most major world events bring out the cynic in me. Usually I watch a single newscast so I can know enough information to carry on a conversation. Usually I don't watch anymore news for a week following the event because it's inevitably going to be about said event. Usually I am so grossed out by the media that I throw up a little in my mouth. Usually.

There have been three world events that have gripped me enough to watch the television for many weeks looking for news stories. They've entered into my consciousness enough for me to actually buy a newspaper and spend free time searching for info on the internet. A lot of that information is in the back burner of my mind because the everyday stuff is up front, but every now and then I find myself still thinking about them. On April 16, 2007 another event entered into that group.

I am haunted by the Virginia Tech Massacre. That's not entirely true. I am haunted by one particular sentiment of the Virginia Tech Massacre. I didn't watch the quote, unquote distasteful tape of the murderer or anything else that was sent to NBC. I don't have any personal feelings about that, I just didn't watch. The thing that jumped out at me in the news shows I watched and interviews I listened to was that over and over the killer was described as 'the loneliest person you could ever meet'.

Now I know that there was a lot more going on in this man's life than him just being lonely. But the lonely factor is what is haunting me.

I watched an Oprah episode a while ago on which they featured a couple, Yvonne and Rich who began Challenge Day in which they go to schools and face the bullying epidemic. During that show Yvonne said something that I will never let go of. She said that the biggest problem in our highschools today is loneliness and isolation. It's not drugs, it's not promiscuity, it's not even bullying really. Isolation and loneliness is the key issue facing the next generation.

While all of our kids are striving after the "American Dream" getting burned out by their activity schedules in kindergarten, since sports have become scholarships and not games, when everyone has an iPod or blackberry or cellphone or whatever technological device they carry before they're old enough to need one, while we live completely disconnected lives in the most connected phase of our history; while all that goes on we aren't necessarily fixing any of the shortcomings we had in our past generations.

As a woman who has married a man who will be spending his life with teenagers this is especially haunting to me. We have the generation or two that come on the heels of the Virginia Tech murderer's generation already isolated and lonely. I will say again that I completely recognize there was much more going on in this man's life than just being lonely, but do you see the issue?

Do you see how history is already doomed to repeat itself? How there are already so many people out there who need to connect and not be lonely so that they don't do rash things? Do you see how we're so mistakenly playing the blame game by scapegoating video games and hip hop when really the issue is our disconnected culture?

I don't really know how to fix it. I wrestled for a long time with even posting this because I do think is a valuable dialogue to have so that through discussion we can find ways to not repeat history. I don't know if anyone else thinks these things or not, but I decided to write them anyway. If for no other reason than to get them out of my head so I can hopefully sleep again.

He was the loneliest person you could ever meet. Sadly that's not a unique description.

Babies at the Ballpark

Last Thursday was 'Babies at the Ballpark'. With Jays' season in full swing there are lots of special opportunities to go to the ballpark. We have a bit of an 'in' and are able to get free tickets every now and then. Isabella seems to love baseball more and more as we watch it. She spent the first two innings cheering for the teams and was so adorable that the frat boys in front of us even glanced back at her, laughing at her cuteness.

Brooklyn was the only one in Blue Jays wear. We got this little onesie when Isabella was born and it was nice to have it for Brooklyn to wear to her first baseball game. She watched most of the game and slept for an inning or two. There wasn't any fussing going on in our row! I was super thankful for that.


At the end of the game there was an opportunity to run the bases like the big kids. We took Isabella down even though I'm sure she had no idea what we were doing. It was also School Day and there were 15,000 students at this particular game. They all were running around the bases the same time Belle was and she got caught up in the moment and tripped rounding second. She has a great big bruise on her thigh, her first sports injury! She continued around the bases like a champ, but when Nick picked her up so she could 'slam' on home base--her pants fell down! Pull Up and all! Nick was carrying Brooklyn in her carrier and didn't see Belle's pants fall. Luckily I raced around to where the parents were able to meet the kids and helped her back to decency.


After running the bases we followed the trail of kids up and out of the ballpark. Rogers Center Staff handed Isabella her first baseball cards and a Jr. Jays Passport. She carried both so proudly all the way back to the car. It took us about 2.5 hours to get home as it was rush hour and there had been a Raptors game that day too. Lots of traffic. It did us good though because the girls really needed to sleep after their afternoon fun.

Just Do It

This sadly, is going to be another post to let you know of the non existent time I have in my life right now. We all got sick again this week. No trips to the bathroom, just awful colds. I had the worst on Wednesday and Nick is at his worst right now. I woke up at 6:00 to the bed violently shaking. It was Nick shivering so hard from his fever. We got that taken care of and now he's asleep. I have a meeting to attend tonight but I will be leaving at an early hour to come home and tend to my hubby so I will take send out my interview questions tonight. Watch your inboxes!!

Yep, me too.

I am eternally curious. One downfall to that being that I am always curious what people think of me. It's nice every now and then when someone tells you exactly what they think of you, (not always a positive experience, but usually), and so I thought I'd join this interview train because I was so curious what Angella would ask me. Here are her questions;

1. Assuming calories don't count, what is your favourite - a salty or sweet treat?

I love salty snacks with the exception of Easter Cream Eggs which I eat in abundance while they are out and probably match them with Easter Cream Egg McFlurries.

2. If you could live anywhere in the world (other than where you are), where would it be?

I honestly don't know. I'm not one of those people who daydreams of travelling so I haven't considered many other places in the world. If I could rewind a bit I would consider relocating to Holland, (I think it's Holland), for my child bearing years so I could enjoy one-year-fully-paid-mat leaves. I'd like to live somewhere that it is eternally spring or fall cuz they're my favorite seasons, rain does not put me in a grey mood. Or Vancouver Island so I could become Sarah McLachlan's new BFF.

3. Coke or Pepsi, diet or all sugar?

I am a Coke girl, all sugar. However, I will turn down a regular Coke in a can or bottle. I will never turn down a Slurpee and if I'm drinking Coke out of the can or bottle I like it in a glass filled with crushed ice.

4. What would your dream career be (other than a Mom)?

I know it would be something in the hospitality industry, but I'm not exactly sure what. For a while I wanted to have an Inn, (a la Gilmore Girls), but I worked in a hotel banquet department and truly loved that job. Running an insanely busy banquet department in a hotel, resort, or reception hall is definitely something I would love to do.

5. What do you do when nobody's looking?

I put icing on Arrowroot crackers to make 'sandwiches'. I talk to myself. I google people all the time.

So! If you would like to join in on the interviewing party, follow these directions:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Severe

I am a severe night hawk, which I'm sure I've mentioned before and if you know me you are putting a fake surprised look on your face and sarcastically oozing 'really??'. I am well aware of this fact. What I have been ignorant to is just how much life I miss out on. A lot of night hawks end up staying up too late and then they are sleepy when they arise the next morning. My hawkishness is so severe that I do not do anything I do not absolutely have to do as long as the sun is up, then as soon as the sun goes down I am the accomplishment queen. Not good. So not good by any standards. Today I had a Get Together at 1:30ish. I didn't even get out of bed until 9:00, not an early day in anyone's book. But here I was actually perturbed that I had to do something during the day. I was excited for the event, don't get me wrong, but I kept on thinking to myself, 'why didn't I schedule this at night?'. The answer dear Amanda is because no one would have come as they are all SANE. I got myself together while Nick took Belle to swimming lessons and headed out the door. The day is beautiful. It's sunshiney, the air smells fresh, it's actually nice to not be sitting on my couch right now. I need to learn to live when it's daytime and normal people do stuff.

Six

I don't have a picture today of Brooklyn at six months. I have been doing these monthly shots of her in a white onsie laying on angel's wings. As she gets bigger the wings get smaller and it's cute in my opinion. But at her check up yesterday she got the usual vaccinations and today she is such a sleepy baby. I'll be sure to get the pictures this weekend, but thought I'd post this as I procrastinate from cleaning my kitchen. Brooklyn is now 6kgs, (13lbs 2 oz) and is totally healthy in all aspects. We had the resident instead of our regular doctor which is fine by me, but I think it's an evil plot by our family doctor. There just happens to be a resident to see us when the kids need needles. Smart planning, keeping the kiddos liking you! The resident started in on her list of "does your child do this..." and I was sort of impatient so I just rattled her latest tricks off, and the resident was impressed enough to not ask me anymore questions. Isabella also had to get a needle yesterday just to catch up as we switched provinces during the time of regular vaccinations in a kid's life. We got Isabella stuck first so if Brooklyn's pain upset her it would be after the fact of her own pain. This was great planning cuz Belle did cry when Brooklyn cried and the resident looked like she might cry. Good planning Dr. S, good planning.

It's been a while.....

It has been far too many days since I last wrote a blog post. I really don't mean for that to happen, but life has gotten so full lately. I have about a billion ideas for posts and none of them are getting written. And they still wont because I have two Creative Memories Get Togethers this weekend and we got the ok to put a workshop in our garage so we're working on that. One day I'll have time to write the posts in my mind, but for now here are some pictures of our world.

These first two are Isabella and I decorating EasterEggs. There are a lot more picture of it, but Nick didn't think to warn me about the cleavage. (Which as he pointed out later, why would he warn me about it, it's just fine with him.) The eggs didn't work out the way I really wanted, but Belle had a great time. She counted while the eggs were in the dye, 1-2-3-7-8-9! I know that each year the eggs will get more and more grown up and I'll actually get nostalgic about these ones!

Then a few of Brooklyn's cuteness. I was noticing that I have less pictures of Brooklyn then I had of Belle. Not because I take less but because Brooklyn is doing everything so much faster. It took her two hours to learn to roll over, not two weeks. Isabella was making her first moves to crawling at 8 months, Brooklyn already gets up on all fours and then launches herself forward. It's a bit crazy how quickly she's growing up, if only I could slow it down just a touch.

Brooklyn also thoroughly enjoys her bath now. It's a part of our night time routine and both girls very early knew the word "bath" before they could talk. Brooklyn starts to get fussy in the early evening and all she wants is bath time. Then she's good to go for a while longer. We've never had a baby bath, just one of those wire things with the fabric stretched over it, but we picked up one of those bath rings and Brooklyn is really enjoying it and Belle loves that the water now comes up over her thighs!

The first home game of the Jays season was on Monday night. The guys tried to get tickets, but it was totally sold out. So we got some of us together for dinner and the game. When the game started Isabella got so excited, like most children get on a sugar high. She was cheering and dancing to the National anthem. She sort of followed the game and when all of us were cheering for a run scored or a good play Isabella would shout out a hearty, "Touchdown!". Yeah we've got to work on helping her sort out her sports. This is our buddy Ryan, or should I say Isabella's buddy Ryan.

Taxed

It's that time of year again, sorta. I've never dreaded tax time for two reasons; one-I pay someone else to do my taxes, two-I've only ever gotten a rebate. I enjoy tax time actually. For the last four years we've done up our taxes and decided on one luxury,(usually clothing to replace pieces we've worn straight through), we would purchase. Then the rest of the money goes into our savings account and is the beginning of our budget for the next move. This year is not a usual year because- WE'RE NOT MOVING. Which in itself feels very, very good to say.

In the summer time I was very stressed about money and I shared a lot of that on this blog because it was what was real in my life at that time. I figure it's only fair to balance out the bad with the good and I am so happy to share some of the blessings of this years tax season.

Yesterday I paid in full the remaining balance on our leather living room set. That means we officially completely own everything in our house! We are not the kind of people to pay for 'things' on credit, and even though it was just one purchase, it was enough to leave us feeling uneasy every month. Now it's gone.

A lot of people wished me a year of blessings around the New Year and I just wanted to take a second and share one.

The Wonderful World of Weddings

My cousin got married on Saturday, and these pictures are mostly for my mom who couldn't make it to the wedding. The wedding was very "them". If you click on the picture here you can see his facial hair and the essence of his hat. That's what I mean by "them". Sometimes I go to weddings and am so bored by how they are just like every other wedding I've ever been to, but not this one. The wedding was at a banguet center and the wedding and reception were in the same room. We sat on chairs on the dance floor during the ceremony and we could see all the tables set up for the reception. After the ceremony they had us file out into the foyer, through the receiving
line and back into the room. By the time we arrived back into the room our tables were in place with chairs around them and we were handed a shot and escorted to our table. It was neat. During the ceremony the rings were passed around in a little bag. Everyone held them for a second and said a silent prayer or blessing over them before passing them on. Neither the father of the groom or the father of the bride were in attendance and so the Mother of the Groom gave the groom away and the Mother of the Bride gave the bride away. Our family is huge into hockey, and so in true family fashion the bridal party entered the reception

wearing hockey jerseys to the music of Hockey Night in Canada
and introduced like a starting line up. This banquet center in particular is known for their Crepe Suzette dessert. All the lights were turned off and three Maitre de's did an extensive light show. The liquid actually burns blue once they get going and they did things like pour it down a sword and walk in a circle while pouring it from one pan to another. It was very, very cool. Each table was served their meal and it was 6 courses! We got appetizers & drinks, salad, a pasta course, a roast beef course, a chicken course and then the crepe suzette. The bartender would even bring your drink right to the table, I was just getting the free Coke so I went up to the bar each time for it, I needed to stretch and get ready for the next course! This cake was done by my aunt and it's really cute. She


even personalized the licence plates. Unfortunately we had to leave before i

t was cut as the MC never really got the night rolling. There was one thing then a looooooooooooooong stretch and then another. We stayed just until the first dance and it was 11:00pm. There hadn't been any cake cutting, the night lunch, other dances or boquet or garter tossing.

I think we have one more wedding to attend in July which I'm looking forward to. This wedding made me realize that I miss working at Travelodge in the Banquet Department where I went to at least a wedding a weekend! A happy thing this wedding reminded me though- winter is really over! Bring on Wedding Season.

Carrier Monkey?

We are all doing much better. Nick, Isabella and I have not puked or run to the Throne in over 60 hours! Yesterday we went to a wedding and I dropped Brooklyn off at a friends while I took Isabella to swimming lessons. The people who looked after Brooklyn are now dealing with the same sickness. Is she to blame??? I haven't heard from the folks who babysat during the wedding, but I hope they aren't all sick too. Brooklyn has yet to show any sort of sickness symptom. She has been sleeping a fair bit this week, but I assume that's because she's growing. As in VISIBLY growing this week. My little cherub is becoming my chubub.

*The T-shirt was not on purpose irony, but funny nonetheless!

Blowing Through

What a few days we have had. They have held far too much for me to be up at 2:30am writing about them, but alast here I am waiting for a load of laundry we are in desperate need of to be done.

It all started Wednesday afternoon for me. All of a sudden I found myself running to the bathroom every few minutes. I am not a fan of frequent visits to the Throne and this put me in a bad mood. Determined not to let it ruin my day I proceeded with my tasks. At 6:00 I put one of my favorite suppers on. I pulled out the delicious pork chops only to be overwhelmed by the smell and thus I began spewing from both ends rather too consistently for my liking. I called Nick at work and requested he pick up Ginger Ale and other sickness necessities and warily he agreed without asking any questions. Nick arrived home at 11:00 and by 11:30 had joined me in spewing from both ends. One thing I learned, Nick is not a quiet puker. We were awoken at 7:00am by Isabella's horrified cries as she had just thrown up all over herself.

By Belle's afternoon nap she seemed to be doing much better. Still no appetite but it had been a couple of hours since she had spewed or pooped through layer upon layer of clothing. Good, good. Nick and I continued in our complete state of messiness all that day. Luckily God was looking after us as at one point in the afternoon we both passed out for about 5 minutes. Isabella had been watching tv inches from us. She decided that since both of us were sleeping this was her perfect opportunity to learn to get out the back patio door. Escape, she did. Thankfully the man out back playing with his son politely returned her to our home seconds later and his voice awoke us and we have not both fallen asleep since.

Nick and I stopped spewing at about 9:00ish on Thursday night. Isabella just had her second bout of throwing up this evening after a fully fine day. Was it the flu? I'm not sure as Brooklyn is 110% fine. Perhaps food poisioning? The power was out here for about 3-4 hours on Monday and although I didn't open the fridge even once while we were powerless it's possible??? I'm not sure what caused it but I hope it never happens again!

Real Moms

I was tagged by Karen to do this Real Moms post. I read around at other entries and I know I could relate to all of them, here's my two cents.

Real moms run the dishwasher and "unload" it by using the clean dishes and piling them on the counter until the dishwasher is empty and there's a pile of dishes that need to go in it. Real moms understand that pictures like this are worth a thousand words. A thousand cute words. And no matter if they use all thousand to describe it, no one else will completely understand.
Real moms have watched Disney movies from beginning to end so many times they can quote them. But this is the only scene they remember from 95% of the grown up movies they sat down to fall asleep during, I mean watch.

I tag Tanneal and Tara .

Like Leaves

This will be a post of tidbits, sort of like leaves in the fall all floating around not really joined to each other but all of the same thing.

-This week Isabella has learned to say 'I love you". She says it to Nick before he leaves for work and to our company when she has to go to bed. When we were leaving the church on Saturday she was grumpy and it was raining. So I said to her, 'Say hi to the rain drops.' Isabella replied, 'Hello drops, I love you.'. So cute.

-Brooklyn is now rolling all over the place, blowing raspberries like crazy, eating cereal three times a day and talking a lot. She is almost sitting by herself, (she starts to rock as soon as she's on her bum and the momentum pulls her down face first. If she stopped rocking she'd be fine!). She also started pulling her knees up under her this week and pushing up on her arms, I can't believe we're already on the first stages toward crawling. Where have the last 5 and a half months gone?

-We had a crazy go, go, go weekend this past one and this morning our power shut off. I looked at my clock at 8am but fell asleep knowing my alarm clock was set for 8:30. At 10:30 the girls started to wake up and that's when I realized there was no power. We all slept sooooooo long! Except Nick who had to be at work for 7:00. He still needs a break.

-I had a positive Scrapbooking Birthday Party on Saturday. All the girls said they had fun and the parents were happy and impressed with my work. I had a blast showing the girls how to use the tools and it ended up really great. I'll post my "demo" later this week. Speaking of scrapbooking, I'm just putting together an email of opportunities to scrapbook in your pyjamas. (All the things you can do online and in your own home.) Just email me and I'll let you in on the exciting opportunities!

-We do have to drain the fish tank. What we'll be doing is putting the water we have going in a slightly smaller tank. Then the tank we have going will get fixed up and we will transfer the fish into the original tank. We could leave everything in the interim tank, but it wont fill out the window as well, the bigger one is just more ascetically pleasing. We're still on track to have fish in there soon, but soon is about mid-April.

-Isabella is doing a great job potty training! We were at Ikea and she asked to use the toilet twice, and she did! Those big scray public toilets. She did the same thing at Church on Sunday morning and she has gone two days in a row of wearing just pants from when she gets up in the morning until mid-afternoon. Then she either goes down for a nap or asks for a Pull Up. Then she takes a dump. I can't wait until I don't have to clean up poop.

-Okay that's about it I have to go catch up from my crazy weekend!

Tanked

You may recall the Birthday Party idea for Isabella's birthday involving the fish tank. The party was great fun, but we were unable to put fish in for that day. Everyone brought her money for fish or fish supplies and then other toys or clothes. Since there were no fish in the tank we ended up opening presents with cake which is what I didn't want to do, but c'est la vie. After the party we realized that the weight of the tank, (250 lbs), was causing stress on the shelf and therefore it was no longer level. Nick had to drain part of the tank with our friend Jeff, lift it off the shelf, tear off the shelf, tear the drywall down to the 2 by 4, re-level the shelf, get some styrofoam to help with the equal distribution of weight, put the tank back on and then refill it. We did this on his only available night this week, Monday.

Tuesday morning we came down to find out the tank is leaking. It's most likely going to have to be drained, re-sealed, tested, made sure the seal has stuck, then start again with water, wait the two weeks to get it cultured, then test it and possibly wait longer. Yikes.

It's not leaking drastically and since we are actually happy with how the set up inside looks we've kept it set up for now. Thanks mom for the castle and other props. They're all in there.

In the World, but......

Today has been a very frustrating day for me. I asked earlier in the week about holding once a month Scrapbooking Workshops at the church. To me it makes so much sense to who I am as a person and why I love scrapbooking in the first place. I acknowledge that everyone in the church is called to be an 'evangelist'. Some will go to other countries, some will stand on soap boxes. I will listen to the stories of others and share God with them through mine and how I review theirs. What better way to open the doors to a conversation about God than by gathering on common ground, (scrapbooking), and letting my life be the example and my interaction by my ministry. I was so stoked. I had a day booked for May. Nick and I are in talks about using our too-tiny-for-a-car garage to make a mini work out room/workshop to hold smaller gatherings. I was all ready to launch a Faithbooking idea I have for smaller workshops at my big workshop. So many balls in my head got rolling as soon as the day at the church was booked.

Then today I found out that I cannot use the church. Even if I changed the event so I didn't sell anything that day. IF I would possibly make money from someone I invited to the church to scrapbook for the day I cannot use the church to do so. It's policy.

For a bit that stung me personally. I have been working so hard for so many years in so many situations to step up to the plate and make change happen, only to have so many doors slammed on me. It's just the give and take of my life, and I'm okay with that. But it takes me a second to get up and wipe off the dirt after I fall on my butt! Once that sting wore off another realization hit me which piggybacked on my Perspective post of yesterday.

I'm all fired up about how the church is failing so miserably at reaching out into the world in a relevant way. I don't want to offend or anything so I'm just going to leave that blanket statement. Sure I'm upset cuz I'm not sure I'll find anywhere else in town to hold workshops, but more than that I'm sad at all the lost opportunities for the kingdom because I might advance myself by using an otherwise empty space.

Perspective

Isn't this such a great picture series! I snapped the one in the middle first. To look at it one would assume Belle had drapped herself in a large piece of fabric. Upon turning around you can see that it's actually one of Nick's shirts, (the first pic), and at the end all the effort it took for that big shirt to stay on that little body. It got me thinking about perspective and how the same things can look different to different people, or even the same people at different times. When Nick wears this shirt it is definitely short sleeves and barely reaches his belt! What a crazy difference.

I had the delight of meeting a guy named Craig who is now one of our Church Elders. He is so totally fun, one of those folks that people are drawn to. Our conversations started initially because he's a pilot and I wanted to know more about his "exotic" jet setting lifestyle. He was at my dinner table one night and somehow the conversation got to Bowflex. He owns one, Nick wants one, I still need convincing. In that conversation he quipped some stats and related the fact that both me and him are obese. He is a typical movie pilot. The ones that look fit and trendy. I am a little cushy around the edges and can only wear my pre-pregnancy jeans if I'm not going to be sitting or eating, but neither one of us would initially be classified as obese.

After that conversation I was thinking about perspective. When I say the word obese I picture people who need their front walls removed in order to leave their house. I might even think of Ms. Wilson pre surgery or some of the larger Biggest Loser contestants. I would not have put myself in that group. To put myself in that group changes how I feel when I hear some stat stating that 80% of our country is obese. Before this conversation I would have thought there's no way that 80% of our country is obese, I'm sure 80% of our country isn't in the front wall removal category. It sure takes it home to put myself there. To realize that if I loose 30 pounds that number will go down, (even if just a small decimal), that I'm part of that statistic.

I wonder what other stats I defer from as other people's problems or which ones I think I belong to when I actually don't. Perspective really does color everything, and even I see many shades.

Of Bare Bottoms

We officially began the potty parade last Monday. We reached the end of a box of diapers and switched on over to Pull Ups and panties. That night I did laundry and over and over Nick kept saying, 'I can't believe our baby has panties in the washing machine!'. It's a tad crazy. So far she does a million trips to the potty and at some point in the day inevitably decides she just wants a bare bottom. I tend to comply because it means less wasted Pull Ups and fewer loads of laundry. There has only been once that she's insisted on a bare bottom while we had company, thankfully. She definitely has the jist of using the potty down, but still prefers the comfort of going in a Pull Up. She does a few sprinkles on the potty, a few on the floor and then as soon as the Pull Up is on she let's loose. I guess it must be a weird change to not sit in her own wetness. Although the process is a bit frustrating at times she makes me giggle so much! Whether walking bow-legged because she's peed in her panties and pants or when just the slightest sliver of bum cheek is visible under her longer shirts, I just have to giggle a little. We have not yet starting using rewards or anything as she seems really excited that when she pees on the potty she gets to wipe her bottom, (while chanting front to back), and wash her hands. I'm not sure that will get us to the destination of potty trained, but for now we'll go with what seems to be working.

Be Gentle

Today was a very humbling day for me. I had my first Creative Memories Get Together. I totally bombed. I watched the little presentation that they want you to do and it's so not me. But it's a tried and true program so I better give it a try, right? I got about to minutes in and felt so fake, so unpassionate, so unenthusiastic. That's when it started to go downhill and it never recovered. I did manage to break even so I guess that's the positive part. At least now I have confirmed that I can't do things that aren't me. One part went really good. When talking about the Storybooks I did well. I flowed, I had passion. I also had the actual Storybook in my hand and flipped pages while I was talking. I think that's the key. So I've got an idea in my head of how to revamp it and ofcourse I'll give it another go. I have two more Get Togethers scheduled in April and if both of those ones bomb I guess I'll be throwing in my hat. But I wont give up without trying and here's crossing my fingers I'll succeed.

Delicate

Have you ever tried to build a house of cards? While we were at the Pastor/Elder's retreat we had to try and build one. We were not allowed to talk to each other and everyone had to participate. Those where the only rules. The goal was to try and build the 'biggest' house of cards. Some groups used their water glasses as a base and continued to build the house on top of that, some folks thought biggest could mean widest. Our group won. Someone at our table folded a card in half and put it on the table, then folded another one in half to create a square. Someone followed suit and we made another square touching that one and another. Then we put a 'floor' of cards on top of them and did some more squares. It was very, very sturdy and we could have gone higher and higher if we had more than 52 cards. Our group was made up of people with the same personality type as ours, (we did a test prior to the weekend) and the point was supposed to be how you can't succeed with only people of your personality type. How we all need to work together.

Those in our group would say hogwash, we succeeded just fine on our own! (It's one of the weaknesses of our personality.) As we sat there in ruled silence I did a little introspecting on the activity. When looking at a house of cards one begins to realize how each card is needed to keep everything balanced, and should even one card be missing everything crumbles. It doesn't teeter, it doesn't totter, it falls into a heap on the floor and cannot be righted again until all of the cards are back in place.

I know that you all know me well enough to have figured out where this analogy is going. The card that has been missing for me: sleep. Prior to the Pastor/Elders retreat I had been going to bed about 9:30 to quiet down and fall asleep about 10:00. Then I had been waking up about 5:30 or 6:00. For the first time in my life! And it was so great. I got a start on things while the girls slept in the morning. I went up to wake them instead of being awoken by them. I ate a real breakfast and fueled myself in so many ways before anyone else was peeping. Then I went away for a weekend and stayed up until 1:00 each morning just hoping to hang out with the cool kids and have some conversations that I wanted to have.

Since then I haven't been going to bed until late at night and with that card out of place everything has been out of whack. The whole house has crumbled as it were. The house being me. I have an awful sore throat and such, I actually ate chocolate chip cookies for breakfast today! Out of whack indeed. The weekend doesn't show much promise of getting any sleep either, but hopefully Sunday night I'll be able to start pick up that card and start building the house again.

Just wanted to let you know that I'm still alive and once I'm sleeping I'll write many more a post about the last two weeks, which have been busy, busy, busy.

Here Fishy, Fishy, Fishy....

Well, Isabella's tank has been set up for a week now. The water is culturing but we wont be able to put fish into it until next week. I knew that could happen and I'm okay with it. Lots of folks have given us money for the fish and we're really very set and ready for them. I really like the dramatic though and was looking forward to draping a curtain over the shelf and "unveiling" the tank during her party. That wont be happening. It wont matter in the grand scheme of things, this I know. Isabella has been standing staring at the tank all week calling "Fishies, where are you??" It will still be super exciting when she calls to the fish and they're there! I can't believe my baby will be two tomorrow!