Very Ferry

For the second part of our family outing we decided to try out Toronto Island. I had heard a few people talking about it over the summer and envisioned a large island with park benches and gardens and picnic spots. Nick took me to the web site before we headed out and there are a billion things to do on the island. We chose one activity section that looked nice, packed a picnic and decided to go with the girls agenda instead of our own. To get across to the island you have to take a ferry, another first for me as well as the girls.
This picture is of Isabella on the way home on the top deck of the ferry with Nick. Alcohol is prohibited on the Island which makes it a great place to take your children without the worry of them witnessing a drunken brawl, or since it is the T dot, something far worse. The ferry was full of children on the way home with us and after a long day out the smell of old diapers and mothers who had been spewed upon was a little much, so Nick and Belle escaped to the top deck.
This is the city Skyline as we headed back across the ferry.
Me and Isabella enjoying our picnic suppers, and running from segulls.
There aren't any pictures of Brooklyn from the day really. She is cutting her two top teeth and spent the majority of the day sleeping and noshing on arrowroots. Here's Isabella trying to provide her some relief.

After our supper we headed towards the Franklin's Childrens Garden. A really lovely garden with bronze statues of all the Franklin tv show characters. Franklin is by far one of Isabella's favorite shows and it was so cute to see her run up to the statutes, give them hugs and carry on conversations with them just like they were her real buddies. I put more pics of it on her blog.

After a couple hours on the Island Belle started to be a little less obedient than we expect of her and so we decided to call it a day. It was a super day out, lots of fun and one that I'm sure we'll be repeating over and over again next summer.

Ice is Nice

Yesterday we had a family outing day. Our original plan had been to take the girls to the London's Childrens Musuem to see a Munsch exhibit. Nick checked out the website and deduced it was more for children who could read. Since Isabella can't and there will be plenty of time when she can we decided to go on a "no reading required" outing.

Our first stop was the Hockey Hall of Fame. When it was first suggested I pictured a day of Nick in his glory oblivious to his children while they screamed and carried on and I was left to my own devices in a public arena which isn't a pleasant vision. It was pretty much the polar opposite. A super day.

The HHF was surprisingly empty considering it was a Saturday afternoon, but we took full advantage of the lack of crowd to let Brooklyn explore at her own pace. She cralwed around for a while, climbed up on the walls and got really up close with some of hockey's legends.
Here we are with Lord Stanley himself. The Cup is upstairs in a smaller room where they hold the inductions to the HHF, (at least that's what Nick said). The room is small enough that you can hear the conversations of people around you. I don't think I'll ever get over how cool it is to hear so many different languages in the same place all saying versions of the same thing:

"What $10 to get a picture with the Cup?" "I know, do you think they'd let us use our own camera and have someone take it?" "I don't know let's just try and sneak it in." "We'll we could always ask that guy who works here, but what if he says we have to pay?".

I swear I heard the same conversation in Kroatian, English, French, German, Pig Latin.

You can take your picture without paying for it, the guy who works there will even snap it for you!

Fields of Love

I love finding outings to take Isabella and Brooklyn on. I am not the kind of mom who lasts long just sitting at the park, especially in the heat of the summer, and so it's much more enjoyable for all if there is an actual event for us to attend. I don't know if I'll be able to do many 'single parent' outings once there are three children with me so I have made the effort to do a few fun things this summer and am hoping to find a few more for the fall.

Last week's outing was to a place called Andrews Scenic Acres. We want to hold Brooklyn's first birthday party there as in October they have a huge pumpkin patch, haunted house and other things for the kids to do. There is a small playground and picnic area, but the majority of the place is acres and acres of fresh fruits and vegetables. You can pay a few dollars and go pick your own fresh blueberries, or raspberries or what not.

Today's Parent was sponsoring a day at Andrews so I talked to a few other parents and we took our kids for a few hours in the morning. Isabella got to hang out with her friend, (and future husband?) Liam. The above picture of them holding hands was not coerced at all. We simply asked them to walk together, thinking the faster at that moment would speed up the slower. They were of course adorable.

There is also a playground, and this is the main slide. Isabella climbed up the whole thing by herself. There weren't actual steps but rather metal bars to walk up. I stood behind her so nervous but the slide is taller than me and I had to let her do it by herself. She didn't even slip, she made sure to have good grip before moving up any steps and she even remembered to only go up onto her knees at the top. Then she slid down all by herself. Definitely not a baby anymore.

The corn stalks sure made her look small though. We decided to also take a hay ride around the lot and while we were waiting for our turn Isabella ran over to the Today's Parents reps just to hang out. They were throwing around a ball and frisbee and she wanted in on the fun. This was probably the most confusing part of the day as all of the Today's Parents reps were teenagers. What they were there to tell us parents I have no idea as they only talked to each other. Isabella sure enjoyed them as she introduced herself, (she now tells people: "hello, bella" while pointing to herself). She is going to be quite the social butterfly.

There wasn't too much to do as the place was quickly filling up with other older children and there was one more child than adult in our party so no extra hands for fancy pictures or anything too memory making, although Angela did teach them how to 'sample' fresh fruit from the bush.

All in all I'd say it was a successful outing. I'm sure Isabella would have continued going up and down the slide a zillion times, but now she'll get the chance when we go back for Brooklyn's birthday and there are more adults for us to socialize with thus extending her happy hour.

This weekend our outing is going to be the Children's Museum in London. I think it's going to be a family outing as everyone else is quite busy, and it's a few hours of driving, but they're doing a Robert Munsch exhibit so I think it will be worth the trek.

I absolutely cannot believe that an entire week has gone by since I've written a post. I swear that about six of them materialized in my brain and I was sure I wrote them. I spent the last few days sorting through my digital pictures in order to delete the crap and put them all in one organizational system before I started choosing what to order for my next scrapbook project. I guess I got caught up in organizing over 1300 photos, and that's just one year! I put in the order but have yet to look through the pictures to make sure they're all good quality. There may have to be a small re-order as some of the pics were a bit dark and I couldn't decide if that made them look like black squares or artsy.

In organizing my photos I came across a few video gems I had forgotten about. I just spent the last hour trying to upload one through Photobucket but it consistently got cut short! Does anyone else know a good outlet to upload some video to?

In a small update I went for my fourth ultrasound only to be told that the radiologist was new and being extremely picky about the pictures. Nothing wrong, just someone wanting to over achieve. (I did ask the gender but was told it was too early to tell, I guess we'll have to stick with surprises.) I also took Brooklyn to the pediatrician who got her naked, put her on the scale, laughed out loud and sent us home. Yes, she laughed. out. loud. I had thought that Brooklyn felt heavier than the 12 lbs the scale said, but everything feels extremely heavy to me these days. She weighs 18.5 lbs. She is fine.

Worry-some?!?

On Thursday I go for the fourth ultrasound connected with my third pregnancy. I went at 12 weeks which I had not done with the girls in order to pin down the actual gestation of our little one. It amazed me how much the babe already looked like a person at that point, I think I expected a little more tadpole.

I then booked and marked on my calendar the glorious 18-20 week ultrasound. The one that most people videotape, or at least add to their wallet the picture to show everyone. I had the most wonderful technician at that appointment. She was chatty and informed and really on the pulse of new technologies. She had been doing ultrasounds for the last 20 years and we talked about how times had changed. It was a good thing as I was there for an hour and a half. The little one had the hiccups and decided that my spine was the most fascinating thing since sliced bread, (wait, since before sliced bread seeing as they don't know what sliced bread is.....). As soon as she saw it was going to be a bit on the difficult side to get the measurements she turned the screen so I could watch the whole thing! It was a real pleasure and the most any tech has ever talked to me so I will count it as a highlight in this pregnancy.

Unfortunately the little one would not flip over, or even half roll. She called in another tech. They had me wiggle, they had me pee, they had me roll up on either side. Nada. This little one played so camera shy I had to come back so they could get a good profile shot and a clear look at baby's heart.

Come back I did a week later. Profile shot, snap! But the heart, still not a good look. This tech however was not my favorite person. She used that little "wand" like some sort of lever to try and turn the baby over. I've never had anyone jam anything that hard in above my hip bone and down into my back trying to turn over another person inside. I nearly cried out of sheer pain, and I've delivered drug free--twice! She got some shots and then told me she wasn't sure the radiologist would be happy with them, I might be getting a call to come back. And I did.

So back I go on Thursday and I'm doing my best to just believe there are limits to ultrasound technology and they really can't see everything with their x-ray vision, end of story.

The first tech and I had a lengthy discussion about how much worry is caused while the baby is still inside due to the complicated and arduous scans us moms now go through. She was telling me that when they started they did pre-natal ultrasounds back to back to back. Now she does one in the morning, one in the afternoon max. I had to watch her literally massage her hand out of the grip she had on the "wand" when we finished. I can see it's taxing work.

And even though I'm a level headed person and quite laid back there's a huge part of me that believes there must be something wrong with this little one's heart and that is what they can't see clearly, exactly what is wrong and how wrong is it?

Ofcourse there could be nothing wrong at all, but for now it's unknown to me.

Like High School

This weekend Nick went away for one night with the youth group to a mud volleyball tournament. The girls and I were going to go with him, but upon learning it was a tent and outhouse situation-I declined. Isabella has become quite particular about her potty using, and I did not want to spend a day covered in mud and pee.

While Nick was gone I decided to crack open a book I ordered just a bit ago, (no, not yet Harry Potter, it's day is coming though!). I had read a great review on a blog I respect about the book Momfidence . My book arrived a few weeks ago and I had yet to give myself permission to start reading it, just in case what happened, well, happened.

I think it was probably highschool the last time I got engrossed in a book and lazed around all day neglecting all other things just to finish it. Then I would ofcourse shower and look for something great to do. I feared the same would happen if I started reading Momfidence, at it did. Sorta.

Have you ever noticed how doing things "like I did in highschool/college" is not really a true statement once you become a mom? Events now are a version of their highschool selves, just as we are.

I put Brooklyn down for her afternoon nap and gave Isabella some snacks and a blanket to go along with her fifty billionth viewing of "Credinables" and began to read. I only meant to read for half of Brooklyn's nap, (1.5 hours), and then get up and do wifely and motherly things. I just could not put the book down. My kids got fed ofcourse, (Wagon Wheels is a vegetable right?) and when Nick walked through the door exhausted from his physical exhertions he noted the book in my hand and walked back out the door to KFC.

Everyone survived the day I was mostly AWOL while reading a book purely for my enjoyment and personal growth. Which is good to know, because now I have to read it again. Slowly this time. To make up for it, we went to the park today and they had a blast.

Scrappin Accomplishments

This is a remix of the Scrapbook I did of Isabella's first year. It has nothing on Amanda's amazing video of Avelyn's First Year , but I'm more of a scissors and tape girl. The technologically advanced stuff doesn't sink in all that well!

Finishing the project felt sooooo good. It had been a while since I was in the regular groove of scrapping so it's really a bunch of different pages as I tried out different products and techniques. There are a few pages I might go back and re-do but not until I've caught up.

Seeing the book fully done now sitting on my coffee table waiting for people to leaf through I realized that I would actually like making other people's scrap books. It does take a lot of time to get all the cutting, matting and embellishing done. I think it would be a great project to do for another person, leaving spaces for them to do their journalling! It's so nice to not have to look back on my computer to remember her first year. It's definitely reignited my passion for getting my children's scrapbooks done before they move out of the house.

It also made me super excited about a new Creative Memories program called the Premiere 12 Club. I think some people did this type of group with Stampin Up. There are 12 members and each person gets a month to be the "hostess" earning all the free stuff. I think it would be super fun to do online, in cyberspace, in blogland. To have a "virtual" group of friends holding each other accountable to getting their scrapbook projects completed through fun challenges, product rants and raves, project showcases. The small print would read: $35 per month for 12 months. I'd really love to start one up if there's interest. Just leave me a comment here. (Even if you're just a reader and not a commenter!)

Well, I'm off to sort through my photo folders, I'm still 18 months behind on Isabella's life, not to mention my own book, and Brooklyn's.......let the scrap fest continue!

Just One

Last night we went to our friend's wedding and it was super great. We followed the directions to the ceremony, even though we were late and there was a shorter route, (we just didn't realize it until we were halfway there). We actually walked in after the bride. I've been known to be late for weddings habitually, but usually we walk in just before the bride. We're the couple that gives the Groom a heart attack cuz they open the door ever so slightly and he thinks his bride is coming, but no it's the "Fashionably LateFranks" showing up. This is the only picture we have of ourselves. I might be able to snag a few from friends though, (yay facebook!).

The ceremony was Anglican and so pretty formal and all. The reception was fabulous. I really love going to weddings where I know way more people than just the bride and groom, although I will seriously accept an invitation to any wedding.

I could tell you a million reasons why the wedding was so great, but it would be full of all kinds of inside jokes that no one would get because I don't think anyone in G-town actually reads this blog. I'll spare you and instead share the startling realization of the night.

We have one more couple that we are waiting to marry off in our friend circle. After that we become the 'friends of the parents'. We have to wait a good 20 years to start marrying off our daugthers and attend the weddings of friend's children. I sure hope I get to be one of the cool 'friends of the parents' the ones that get invited to the reception. I am going to be in serious withdrawal by then!

These retina burning babes are only going to get hotter in the next 20 years, bring on the ABBA!

(Photo of me and Brooklyn's future Mother In Law, Angela)

Druthers

Today I did my first assignment for my new job. I think I'm going to be learning something new everyday. My old typing job was quite boring. There's just not that much happening in the land of personal insurance claims. Some of the stories were out there, but the majority were just boring. Gone are those days. My first assignment was a conference call between Korn and about 15 interviewers. They talked about Korn's new album and the Family Values tour. It's all stuff that will be written in different publications and it was so neat. Perhaps if I work really hard there will be a divine blessing sent from above the next time Sarah releases an album. My fingers are already crossed.

The new thing I learned today is that 'druthers' is an actual word. You can find it at dictionary.com. It means to have a choice or preference. I had no idea. I thought it was just some lady's slang. Neat-O.

I am really looking forward to this weekend because our friends Derek and Kelly are getting hitched. It's going to be a great wedding. I bought a new dress, a new bra even! We rented a car for the day and I'm getting my hair and make-up professionally done. Nick got a new outfit in a brand new color.

(Is anyone else's husband stuck in the same color all the time!
Honey let's go buy a new shirt.
Sounds good darling, I sure do need a new blue shirt.
A new blue shirt but you have a blue golf shirt, and a blue dress shirt. Well several in fact in different shades.
And then you come home with a blue dress shirt somehow.....)

It's this cool green color and he looks hawt. It will be a ravishing night, because I had my druthers and I ran with them.

Brooklyn

Just in case you're checking in about Brooklyn's appointment with the pediatrician, we had to postpone it. Nick also had an appointment in the morning and I have an ultrasound in the afternoon. Three different appointments in three different cities. It was just going to be too rushed and seeing as I'm not all that concerned about Brooklyn we bumped her appointment to next week. She continues to be a typical nine month old babe, loving carrots one day and hating them the next! She's definitely cruising around and loving life. A ball of energy that one. You can check out some more stories about her on the kids blog if you'd like.

Whirlwind

We made it through VBS week here without too many scars. Nick was up early each day going from site to site stressing about children dying from heat stroke. On Monday I do believe it got to 48 degrees. That is so hot, especially for little children. It seems as though everyone had taken the proper precautions and I learned on Wednesday night that there always seems to be a heatwave when VBS starts here. Just goes to prove that God is doing good things I'd say! On Wednesday night we had a celebration night where the kids got to show off some of the songs they'd been learning and their parents could meet their leaders. We had sundaes and Nick and his cohort Ann had booked a puppeteer to be the evening's entertainment. Usually the kids run the whole show, but due to other church events it had to be midweek and the kids didn't have as much time to learn a whole night's worth of stuff. The puppeteer was not so good. One guy described her most adequately as 'Mrs. Doubtfire'. She wore that kind of dress, had no idea how to handle a room full of kids and did what must have been her original program-straight out of 1982!! They were able to cut the night a bit short which all the parents were thankful for, and it seems to have been the only snag in a wonderful week!

Brooklyn went for her 9 month check up this week and she's dipped again in the weight percentiles. She's back down below the 5th percentile and my doctor admitted to being a little dumbfounded. (Not those words, but that's the idea). At first we saw his resident but upon her accouncing that my little cherub was only 5.6kg I knew something wasn't going the way it should and so we waited to talk to the doc. He said that if he wasn't looking at the numbers he would have no reason to assume there was anything going wrong. She's happy, she's mentally and physically exactly where she should be. She's even up around the 25th percentile in height, she's just not gaining weight. So, just to make sure all is good we're going to see a pediactrician next week. Just to get a more thurough look; to ensure there's nothing medically wrong that is keeping her from gaining weight. He asked me to make her formula thicker than we had been and to try some foods with a higher fat content. I tried yesterday with the thicker formula, but then she wasn't eating as much food and today all she ate was formula. So we're going to unthicken it because it's that time where finger foods and moving on from chugging to chewing are important. If the pediatrician gives us the thumbs up, we'll just go back to adding foods the way we did with Belle and accept that we have a very small daughter. Which is nice because her future husband is growing splendidly and I think it's cute to have a bigger man and a smaller woman!

I also got the transcription job I applied for! Sweet. It's a bit of a different format hours wise than my old job, but I am now definitely getting paid for my time and wont be doing 'free work' so to speak. I think it's going to be quite easy on the whole. There are busier times and slower times so I'm sure there will be days of high stress and days of boredom- but that's what work is and I'm so excited to have it!

What's the secret password?

I have a lot of different online "accounts" for a lot of different types of web sites. I try to make them very similar so that I don't forget them, but some sites ask for a certain amount of letters or a certain letter/number combination. I have my regulars, but every now and then I stray in order to meet the guidelines, or because I've watched too many episodes of 20/20 on identity theft and I therefore swing to the other side of the pendulum. Ofcourse none of these passwords are written down. How can my secret security clearance password be 'for my eyes only' if I've written it down somewhere? In the last few days I've tried to log into a few of said "accounts" to try and do different things; check the balance on my student loan, upload a new picture to be left with my blog comments, the really important things of life. Sadly I've forgotten the password.

I'm not sure if it's pregnancy brain or just because I set them up one day thinking I'd never use them again, or if my sleep last night was so restless because random bits of information were being sucked from my brain in order to help other life forms overtake the earth. That's a question we'll leave up to the experts.


Usually I'll just create another account when I can't remember. I'm one of those people with four logins for sites like Baby Fit and iVillage. A few of the accounts are for financial purposes though and those ones I need to actually prove my identity in order to attain access. I called up the NSLC yesterday to have my password reset. They gave me my username and it was clear that I must have created the account while in the throes of labor because seriously it was completely irrelevant to anything in my life ever. Feeling rather sheepish for having to even call someone to let me reset my password I chose to look at my security questions to get my old password instead of just resetting a new one. Could the questions be any more ambiguous? 'An important date.', 'An important person in your life. Hint: It's a family member.', 'What was your favorite subject the third and sixth weeks of grade four?'.

Oh my word. I'm going to have to hang my head and call back tomorrow to reset my password entirely. Perhaps this time I'll write it down.

Except I do have some nosy neighbors and every now and then I forget to lock the front door.

What if they discover that I know the secrets to life's burning questions- and I keep them hidden in a password only accessible web site?

Hmmm, maybe they know the answers to my security questions.......

We had a wonderful weekend, but like so many wonderful weekends I have no pictures to show of it! Nick went away with some guys for a golf/bachelor party shindig and us girls stayed at home. We did dinner with my aunt and her fam on Friday night during which we ate the most delicious shiskabobs ever! On Saturday we got up nice and early to go garage saleing, (which was really just code for a long walk). We met up with Ange and the twins and her parents. We only actually hit two garage sales but it was a nice walk. By the time we were done at about 11:00am it was too hot to function. We're gearing up for a week of really hot temperatures here so there wont be any outdoor fun after the early morning. We went back to Ange's parents house and the kids played in a little pool. One of the blow up baby ones. We had all four kids in there and it was quite the party. They were all super adorable splashing about and getting surprised when the water hit their faces. Uber cute. We hadn't brought any swim suits along so it was an all naturel pool party. I think the babes had fun and I know Isabella did, (cuz she told me a zillion times). Then we came home and tidied up a bit and made super and cupcakes to welcome Nick home. Isabella was a super mixer, I think she swirled the spoon around twice in the batter before she tried to lick it, and then stick it back in, and lick it again. I rented "Music with Lyrics" off of PPV and watched it twice while scrapbooking. I'm 6, yes count them 6, pages away from finishing my current album of Isabella. Prepare to be amazed, it's coming for your viewing pleasure.

Half

I am halfway through my current pregnancy, and I have yet to fully adjust to the idea that I'm actually having another baby. I went in for an ultrasound this week and got to see the little one squirming around in there. The poor babe had the hiccups and it was so crazy to see their little body completely convulse with a hiccup. The little one wasn't being so cooperative so I have to go back next week for them to finish up their measurements. The heart was beating at 143 bpms and according to the measurements they were able to get I'm anywhere from 17-21 weeks along. Nothing like technology to make things completely clear, eh?! We're going to go with me being 19 weeks 3 days today to base when I get induced, (let's just face it as reality). With all those numbers rolling around you may be thinking, 'so when are you actually due?'. You can sort through it all and figure out a date, but really folks just let it be ambiguous. This baby will be here in December, before Christmas, and that's all the info my body and this baby are going to confirm.

I feel incredibly huge already, but according to my scale I've only put on a couple pounds. All my clothes are tight and I'm not as agile as I am without a belly. It's crazy how much the body can move itself around during pregnancy. I've heard over and over that the third is the worst, and I think I will most likely be jumping on that band wagon.

I don't think Isabella has clued in yet to the fact that I'm pregnant. I think she just thinks I'm squishy. Soon enough she'll clue in. I know Brooklyn doesn't have a clue. It's nuts to think that in four and a half months there's going to be another little person in our lives.

Climbing the Ladder

So a while ago I let everyone in on the inner debate/conversation that is running through my head as I work on becoming a content SAHM. Before I found out I was pregnant with Baby #3 we had a plan in motion for us to continue taking baby steps from where we are in life to where we want to be. I find that there is tension in our home and I would be lying if I said it had nothing to do with where we fall in the class/economic system of Canada. However, the tension doesn't come because we feel we're poor or that we live without so many worldly things. The tension comes because both of us are result oriented people with goals in mind. The tension is created when we aren't moving at the pace we want to be towards those goals.

In an effort to continue moving ourselves towards where we want to be our plan had been for me to return to work. Part time nights stocking in one of the 7,(yes our small town has 7), local grocery stores. I would work three nights a week, all of those nights preceeding days that Nick has off so that our children would be taken care of and we wouldn't have to find childcare. I was actually looking forward to returning to work. Not somuch the 'nights' part, but returning to work did excite me. I like knowing that I would be contributing to us getting where we want to be.

Then I found out I was pregnant and with pregnancy came the exhaustion. I've been tired before; but nothing compares with how tiring pregnancy is. I didn't see any way that I could work nights for the next 6 months. It just wasn't a possibility anymore. Then we started considering my working during the day, which also is not a possibility for a lot of reasons.

Around the time that Nick and I were searching for a solution I met a lady who challenged me. She asked me if I had to work. Could we still pay our bills if I didn't work? Could we still put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads? She challenged me that if we could perhaps it wasn't right for me to work. At that time, (and still), Nick was struggling with being over stretched between all of his work responsibilities. This lady challenged me that perhaps now was the time for me to take being at home seriously, as my job, to see myself as a 'career mom'. We had a great conversation that day and at the end she said to talk it over with Nick and ask him to tell me what he felt as the leader of our family.

I left it with Nick and he began to pray and seek out God on the issues at hand. I tried to get sold out to being at home, and you all know how that's going! At this point in time I don't know if God wants me to work or to be a 'career mom'. I've had several conversations with a good friend of mine who has added another perspective to the debate/conversation.

When it comes down to it for me it's a trust issue. Am I trusting God in my actions to take care of my family? It's not an easy question to answer because it depends on your definition of trust. Some would say that trusting God in this circumstance would be to be a good steward of our income and trust God to provide all we need. Trust would be waiting for those mysterious anonymous cheques in the mail to help us get ahead. Some would say that trust in this circumstance would have nothing to do with money right now but with trusting God to provide energy to do what we need to do.

So it comes down to "let go and let God" or taking action as the choice.

With all that being said another part in the conversation is what would make me happy? As I related before I really like the benefits of working. I really like moving forward in life, no matter how small the steps are.

I checked out Monster.ca today just on a whim to see if there were even any work-from-home jobs listed. (oh my goodness the jobs if you're willing to invest and possibly be taken by a scammer!). I found one good job. A job I would actually love to do. I applied for it. It was posted on June 26th so I'm not sure if I'll get it, but it was for multiple positions.

I really want this to pan out! Even though I know it will then bring on the inner debate/conversation about work/family balance. It's really something I want and because of how I'm wired I know that finding an at home job will make me a better mother, a better wife, a better friend.

Hopefully I'll have the patience to find the perfect fit, and not just jump on the first opportunity.

Of This and That

Well, I guess I spoke too early about everyone being back on the blog train! We've had another exceptionally hot week here, (yesterday it was 41 degrees with humidex), so we've been inside a lot, (and I've been checking blogs hourly). The sky was threatening of thunder storms last night but we headed out to baseball anyway and I'm glad we did. It was super windy which made the heat bearable and it didn't start to rain at all. Isabella loves watching her older friends play baseball. She cheers for everyone and is about as fun to watch as the game. We left in a bit of a rush so I forgot the camera, maybe next week.

We had a successful toy change yesterday and my living room looks so clean now! We moved on from the smaller baby toys that always seem to leave the room looking like a toy graveyard. Now we're on to some bigger toys and while they do take up space the room doesn't look cluttered anymore. I really, really like that.

I decided to give "Once a Month" cooking a try. Today I did all the shopping and the night before prep work. Since we're a family of only 2 adults I'm doing a two week plan that should last us an entire month. It should take about 4 hours of cooking tomorrow and then it will all be done. Hurrah. The recipes look really good. I was salivating while I copied them onto recipe cards as I borrowed the book from the library. So excited. I'm hoping that in a few months I'll start to do the "Once A Month" process with my own recipes and start branching out into the zillions I put on my recipe blog when eliminating all the loose recipe cards I had floating around. Which reminds me I still have a bundle left to add.

Tomorrow I have a crop night here and there are going to be 4 people coming! I'm so excited because I get to release some really cool new opportunities and my Everyday Display arrived in the mail today and I'm so excited to put it up!

I've also decided to no longer allow 'anonymous' comments on my blog. Yesterday I got one of those annoying, 'let me help your blog make money' comments and well, enough is enough. I'm not going to get excited about people actually reading and commenting on my posts just to find out it was an anonymous being.

Well off to bed and dreaming of cooking.......

Tornado Warning

Each day Isabella and Brooklyn manage to get the house looking like it has been hit by a tornado. We don't have a playroom so their toys are located in two rooms of the house: Isabella's room and the living room. There are only a few toys in Isabella's room so that she actually spends the majority of time in there sleeping. It still blows me away how much of a mess a basket of stuffed animals and a bucket of Little People can make! Some of my favorite moments are when I sneak up the stairs to check on her during nap time and she's working out a scenario with her Little People. So far about 90% of her animals says "roar" when they talk, but she's caught on to little things that surprise me. For example her little octopus is often off by itself cuz that's the ocean.

Downstairs the toys change around and tomorrow is toy change day. With Brooklyn crawling around so much and getting into everything it's time to move all the toys with little pieces out of her reach. I like toy change days cuz I get a little bored reading the same books each day. I enjoy it even more though because Belle masters new skills when faced with new toys. This toy change we're moving out the crayons and moving in the puzzles. Moving out the chew toys and moving in the loud, noisy, help-entice-a-sitter-to-become-a-stander toys and shifting around the books.

Even though the toys aren't new Isabella squeals in delight, sometimes with a "mommy, look at this!" and sometimes with a "mommy, I found it!" It's like Christmas morning when Brooklyn looks at a new toy. She's got this great eyebrow raise that I just can't capture, that is worth about a thousand different phrases.

Mommarazzi

My right hand has turned into a camera lately as I try to catch Brooklyn's new tricks. She grows and changes at such a rapid rate that if I don't get something the first one or two times she does it, I'll never catch it because she's moved on. This evening after supper she decided that Cheerios would be the perfect dessert. Luckily a few had fallen off her exersaucer for her to enjoy.
She's got a great belly crawl going on and has started to pull herself up, can get over anything she wants and this week began to investigate the Ikea cofee table. I think she'll be crawling through the cubbies in no time.

I am definitely baby-ing Brooklyn more than I did Isabella. I know that it's not doing her any harm, but it may bite me in the butt. Once I found out that I was expecting Baby #3 I wanted to slow down how quickly Brooklyn is growing. It feels to me like she's going to become a big sister too soon, she's not going to get the time to be the baby that she should. I've still been feeding her everything instead of letting her try to use a spoon, little things like that. It's good now but I think I need her to be walking, (or at least crawling up the stairs), by the time the next wee one arrives. I'm not sure I can carry them all up the stairs to bed. It's definitely unexpected all the things this pregnancy has brought up for me.
Every time I take pictures of Brooklyn, Isabella wants in on the action. Often she stops and gives me a huge fake smile but today she was treating Teddy like her child. Whenever I got a picture of Brooklyn doing something new she would say "Look at Teddy's doing!" and ask me to snap a picture. She's such a ham.

Living

This week has been a great week, I actually had things to do that were not house cleaning and the temperatures dipped down to only 25, thus making is possible to be outside for longer than 10 minutes. I don't think we had even one day of smog warnings!

During my week away it seems that everyong and their dog got back on the blog train! I've been reading entries like crazy for about an hour. I'll catch up sometime. It seems like summer is in full swing for so many of you! (Except perhaps Anonymous who has nothing better to do than spew crap on my blog).

This week there was a bit of intensity for me, which I loved! I worked with another lady to prepare all the crafts for VBS this summer. Our VBS week is July 9-13 and we had to have all the crafts ready for this Sunday. At our church VBS works a little differently. Most places do it at the church where a few hundred kids come like a tornado for five mornings. At our church it is hosted in backyards throughout the city. The idea being it's more acessible to kids inviting friends from the neighborhood. We're running 9 backyards this year and hoping for 25-30 kids a backyard!! We chose to do 6 crafts, which doesn't seem like a lot but when it comes to the sorting and prep work, I thought I knew but I had no idea. Here's a few samples of the crafts we chose. The others didn't photograph very well.
A little easy one for the younger kids. Children get to start coming to VBS at Jr. Kindergarten age, (4). All the way up to Grade 5. I think the biggest challenge of the week was choosing crafts simple enough for young kids, as well as ones the older kids would do. Most of ours ended up really simple as they only have 15 minutes anyway.So we chose a slightly more complicated one for the older kids to work on during the week. This matchstick cross is so cool looking! Nick made this sample and I'm pretty sure it's going to end up framed in his office. One thing is for sure, I never want to count another matchstick in my life!

My favorite craft of the week is one we're calling the "Quiet Time Kit". We got each child one of those boxes that looks like a Take Out container. They're going to decorate it and personalize it. It's big enough for the Bibles they get during the week, a pen and some paper. I wrote up a little booklet about having devotional time and it will go inside. I'm really hoping it helps parents connect with their kids and share how they spend time with God. I know daily quiet time is a struggle for so many grown ups, (myself included), it will definitely be my prayer that these kids start the discipline early.

There's still a few loose ends to tie up but the majority of the projects are done. I sure hope the kids enjoy them and have a great week learning how much God loves them!

Father's Festive Weekend.

Our weekend began on Thursday when Nick and I went out to celebrate my birthday. Nick borrowed a convertible from one of the pastors at the church. We went to the movies to see Knocked Up and then out for dinner. (I did not win the lottery). On Friday Nick headed out with some buddies and I had a scrapbooking night. Both of us had a good time. The kids were in bed, but it was like we were out without them.

Then on Saturday we began the family fun. We went to see the Nationals play the Jays. The Jays won!! We went early in the day to enjoy the children's activities. You can read about it more and see more pics at the girl's blog: here.
Nick got the idea to try and get a picture where the kids look the same size as the CN Tower which we could see from our seats, (the dome was open). This is the closest we got.
The traditional family picture. We went with Rory, Angela and the twins. It's so much fun to hang out with them. So interesting to see different kids all learning new things. The twins are getting to be so fun now that they're out of that baby blob state. Plus, they're adorable. Between the four grown ups there are four kids, so it keeps us busy. We actually see less of the game when we go then when we watch it on tv, how funny is that. Good thing our tickets are free.
Nick and his girls after they ran the bases. Yep Brooklyn really is in there.
Nick and Belle took some time to pose in the Jays store. Nick was in need of a new hat. Belle walked around and we let her pick a treat. She's been exceptionally good lately considering the terror she could be becoming at this age. She chose a Mr Potato Head in a baseball theme. It's cool.

On Sunday we attempted to go to the Car Show. Nick used to go with is dad and it's a tradition he'd like to continue with his kids. It may end up being him and one kid, but until we figure out who likes it and who doesn't, we'll all go. We didn't really last because it was way tooooo hot. Brooklyn was so uncomfortable she just screamed. So we came home and re-grouped. We took the kids to the drop in swimming time. We headed out to an A&W for dinner because we heard that a bunch of the cars would be heading there for another show. We looked at a few more cars. It wasn't quite what Nick had envisioned, but it was just too hot to do it right.

These two just needed the a/c. It was a nice weekend full of events. We took it easy today and I think the girls both needed it. I think the heat got to them more than we thought. It seems that Brooklyn has heat stroke, but she's still just as smiley as ever. Even though she may be hurtin a little, she put the icing on the cake today when she said her first word- "da-da". She's been saying the "da" syllable a lot, but today she would just say it twice and stop instead of in a constant five minute stream. We're counting it as her first word.

Well, Thanks.

Every now and then I just have to burst out what I'm really feeling on my blog. I'm glad everyone else can relate and that it comes across as honesty and not a pity party. Sometimes in blog land it comes across like everyone lives a very great version of the life I'm trying to figure out and I get disappointed that I'm at the back of the class. But, once again you guys are so very encouraging and it's great to hear that other people feel some of the same things and work through them too. There's more to say about it, it's not someting that just gets figured out over night, but I'll get there some other time.

We had a super weekend that I'll write about after the kids go to bed, but it was a good one. During the weekend I really realized how quickly Brooklyn is growing up which is amazing to me. I got to see Belle being big and little all at the same time, which does a heart good to remember that 2 doesn't last forever, but it's cute while it's here, (most of the time). And we did a lot of things out of routine which was such a sweet break! We're going to try and do something "new" each Saturday that Nick has off, so we don't feel so caught in a rut.

Well I'm off to play Mr. Potatoe Head and plan crafts for a week of VBS! I am so glad that is what Belle wants to do today because it's 30 degrees today, before humidex I think!

A Continuation.

It's not that I don't like being a mom. It's not even that I don't like keeping my house clean. It's not even that I'm bothered by the fact that I had to virtually give up a life of freedom. The thing I'm not getting any joy out of is the Stay At Home Mom lifestyle. I've spent so much of my life driven by getting an "A" on an assignment. All of my jobs have had deadlines and projects. You finish one thing, you move onto the next and you only see the first thing again if you made a mistake. So driven by accomplishment, by ticking things off the proverbial 'to do' list once and for all.

How bizarre to now re-write my to do list everynight with the same items? How does one feel they are moving forward when it's just going around in a circle? The rest of the world moves forward but at our house we're stuck on replay, and rightly so. Routine is what keeps the kids calm, it allows them to thrive as they understand what is predictable. It's a very important part of being a parent, to do the same thing over and over again.

In my SAHM lifestyle I am often Stuck At Home which doesn't really jive with my personality. I like to be out and with people. Even if being "with" them is only walking beside them in Old Navy. But I live in a small town, with no bus system sometimes it's actually impossible to get out and go somewhere. There are several activities to do in town for moms and tots, but then arises the final stitch in my robe. I'm a mommy introvert. I have no desire to go to the local mom's group and compare stats. I know it's just the beginning and after the first awkward conversations you find true friends, but, well you other introverts understand.

I think someone told me that the biggest struggle in becoming a parent is remembering to be yourself as well. To feed yourself-emotionally, physically, spiritually. I think my struggle is better defined by trying to do that within my current lifestyle. People are always telling me to take a bath, read a book, make Nick stay at home while I go out. The truth of the matter is I can't do the things that feed me and make me happy while being a mom. Don't for a second think I'm saying I'm not happy and I'll never be until my kids are growing up. I'm just trying to figure out the evolution of being a contented me before kids to being a contented me with kids.

There seems to come a point in mat leave where women start to get edgey, panicky, upset, disgruntled, even angry. This point in mat leave could be called the end, when it comes time for them to think about heading back to work.

How can I leave my baby in someone else's care? How can I trust someone else to do as good a job raising my child as I can? How am I going to work and keep up with my housework? Why can't the Government just pay me forever to raise children, especially if they're going to keep claiming it is the 'hardest job on earth'?

After a year of being there for almost everything, for the big firsts and the long sleepless nights. After making it through colds and flues, after trying new foods and dressing baby in a zillion outfits for their 'photo shoots' throughout the day. After learning their cries and their giggles, after becoming convinced that you are the ONLY person on earth who could love them thismuch, (except for maybe daddy, maybe). After all you've been through in the last 12 months how can you be expected to go back to work?.

I expect this moment comes up in almost every mat leave because it's the topic of countless blog posts. Followed inevitably by the post wherein one wonders if they can make money blogging.....

I still have two months of mat leave left and you wont be finding a post like this penned by me.

Stay At Home Mommyhood is just not agreeing with me. I am really not finding any joy in it. The days are just long. Long and boring. I get up, I change a few bums, I dress a few people, I make three different breakfasts. I run around the house chasing a toddler whom I cannot understand 50% of the time doing things in 30 second spurts while leaving a mess behind. Another round of changing bums. Another three meals to prepare. More chasing. Then nap time. Glorious listening to 20 minutes of "mom can I get up now" and then finally giving in and walking up the stairs to collect the toddler, hoping the baby hasn't awakened, only to have toddler fall asleep as I'm halfway up the stairs. Then more bums to change. Another three meals to prepare for dinner. Collect wits to be cordial to honey, make sure he has dinner. More chasing until bed time. A bath wherein I become the wettest even though I was never in the tub. Dragging of exhausted children through their bedtime routine, (cuz if you miss something there will be WW3), only to have exhasted child cry because "I'm just not tired, no bed now!". Then go downstairs, clean up after the toddler, do the dishes, try to accomplish more than any human should try and make themself do. Fall into bed exhausted. Don't forget honey, you wouldn't want to neglect him. Then falling asleep to the to do list still rambling around in your head and just as you drift off the alarm rings cuz it's time to get up and do it all again.

It is stressful. It's impossible not to compare myself to Mme X whose house is always clean, who jumped on the Maternal Feminism bandwagon and is wearing it just like a commercial. It's hard to not look at other children and wonder if I'm doing a good enough job. Should she know her ABC's yet?? Will she be the dumb kid when she gets to preschool, cuz if she is it's totally my fault. It's hard to believe that being at home all day facilitating a toddler and a newborn is worthy of being called work. It's hard to find the motivation to clean dishes that will be dirty again after the next meal, to do laundry that will need to be done again, to pick up toys over and over and over and over.

I guess a lot of women really look forward to doing those things everyday, all day, for the rest of their lives. I'm just not seeing the joy in it right now.

Perhaps it's just another thing to add to the list of things I beat myself up about, I don't know. I just know it's a struggle. It's a struggle to know that tomorrow is going to be another day full of dishes and laundry. Crying and arguing, exhaustion and responsibilities.

I guess I'm the only one, maybe I'm just not selfless enough. But this is my current struggle.

Dreams

I am not the kind of person who remembers my dreams often. I do remember more of them when I'm pregnant and they're all crazy. I have had two dreams in 2007 from which I arose convinced they were Gospel truth.

After I found out I was pregnant I had a scary dream. We had fast forwarded to October. It was Brooklyn's first birthday and there were 4 other babies at our house! Four. As in we had quads. There were three boys and a girl. Should this dream have been prophetic I would have had 6 children. I would have had 6 children under the age of 3. I would have had 6 children and 4 of them would have been NEWBORNS. Luckily we've all seen the ultrasound and there's only one baby in there.

I'm interpreting this dream to mean there's a 75% chance we're having a boy this time around.

I had another dream in January. In this dream it was my birthday and Nick and I had gone out for dinner and a movie. Nick had bought me a lottery ticket as my gift. After the movie we stopped at a gas station to see the latest lotto numbers and my ticket had won! The dream continued as we bought a HUGE piece of land just outside of Georgetown on which we built the house of our dreams on one side. Our friends Angela and Rory built their dream house on the opposite side of the lot and in the middle we built a third building. In that building there was a basement for Rory's computer business and the top floor was the best scrapbooking room/guest house I have ever seen. (Although I might be a bit biased since I would have designed and decorated it).

I told Nick about the dream and I thought he had forgotten about it. I think about it often when I'm having a bad day. Then today he came home from work with some flowers, a card and two lottery tickets. One of them for this Friday's Lotto 649 and the other a scratch and win. I scratched it right away. I won $6.00.

I can feel it, this is my year!

Ten reasons why I need a better camera.

This post is really about the Scrapbooking Workshop we made in the garage. The garage itself is quite small though and with the lack of zoomage on my camera I could not get a good shot of the finished product. The actual workshop is about 75% of the garage space and in the last 25% there is our deep freeze, Nick's tools and a weight bench. The idea is that Nick can pull the weight bench up onto the floor when the room is not in use or set up for a scrapbooking function.

(Picture 1: Garage full of stuff as we started)
(Picture 2: Garage as Nick laid the sub floor, which he did all by himself!)

We decided to do the room as inexpensively as we could due to the fact that we do not own our house. Originally we were going to put a wall across to create two spaces and an entrance through the garage instead of everyone coming through the house. We decided instead to do a "wall" of curtains. We were also going to put in some extra outlets, but decided to just run an extension cord to a power bar. So we patched up the walls as best we could without ripping out drywall, laid a sub floor, put laminate as our flooring, painted the walls, added shelving across the width of the room on one end and curtained off both ends.

(Picture 3&4 : My best attempts at showing the workshop. The shots are taken while standing in the 25% of the garage not workshop space. It's much bigger than it looks.)

The room will hold 8 scrappers quite comfortably which to me is a great sized group. I have a bit of inventory in there, but not too much yet. I made a few bulletin boards to display info on and am really quite happy with how it has turned out.

So far just me and my local Angela have been enjoying it but I hope the slower summer months will bring some more people and some more business. It's been a bit slow, my fingers are crossed that I can pick the business part up soon, I have so much to learn about home business!

Did I grow up in Alaska?

Thanks so much for all of your help with my plants. It's nice to know that they aren't all just weeds. I wouldn't have had any idea where to begin planting new things and what not. I am going to do a bit of work on them, getting rid of the obvious weeds and we'll see what we get by summer's end. Thanks so much Michelle for letting me know the actual names cuz now I can check them out online!

I'm beginning to think that I must have grown up in Alaska because I have absolutely no idea how to enjoy summer. I know it isn't true, but I have completely lost my frame of summer reference for some reason.

I don't like to eat heavy foods in the summer, but all the foods I know how to cook are comfort foods for winter. I know so little about fresh vegetables and fruits. I know that we BBQ'd all the time growing up but I have no idea how to operate a BBQ or how to plan a menu around BBQ foods. I used to enjoy all things summer sports wise: football, ultimate, waterskiing, etc. I have completely lost all my sports skills and would much rather wear sweats to the beach than a bathing suit!

I know my girls love being outside, our Ontario Place pictures are evidence of that, but I really do forget how to enjoy summer!

I do still remember how much I love the summer rains. The ones that come up quickly in the middle of the day and leave just as quickly. As well as the thunderstorms that finally break the day's heat and humidity at 10:00pm and then we can go to sleep. Those are my favorite parts of summer, or at least they were. And they will be again when my kids are grown up enough to sit still to watch an entire movie, or color with more than one crayon on read the words in a book.

When you have kids you have to enjoy summer outside, but I'm not sure chasing a tricycle is fun. It is the first five minutes, but five hours later it's a bit tedious!

Here's hoping I learn to love that Cali lifestyle! What's your favorite summer activity?

Garden Illiterate

I'm not sure if anyone can lend me any advice, but these are the "plants" in my garden box. I did not plant them and I am really not a gardener so I have no idea if any of these "plants" are actually plants or just all weeds. Anyone have any wisdom for me?

A Family Day

On Saturday we spent the day as a family. We got up early to go garage sale-ing. We are on the look out for some children's furniture as bunk beds will no longer work for when our girls start sharing a room. We didn't find any, but I spent $10 and got a tricycle, 6 summer outfits, a movie and a stuffed Sully (all for the girls!). I love me a good garage sale day.

We came home and hit a slight bump in the road as obviously we had over planned our day and not gone to bed early enough the night before. The result, missing swimming lessons. We regrouped and got back on track to take the girls to Ontario Place for the day.

Ontario Place is down on the lake shore. It was a lot cooler down there than in the city. It's a water/amusement park which is a tonne of fun for the teens. It was a youth group trip that we were tagging along for in case more youth showed up during the day and needed a ride home and just to be there in case we were needed. Most of the day was just for us.

We found an awesome building full of activities for kids Isabella's age and she ran around there for about an hour and a half while Brooklyn had a nap. Then we hit the splash park which I thought Belle would be afraid of as it was just a bunch of shower like things. She loved it. (I'll post more pics on her blog). She got her face painted for the first time, went down her first big girl waterslide and started her journey of educational activities these sorts of places are filled with.

It was a super great day, the perks of being a youth pastor's family!

Adorable

Discovering science.

Happy with life.

Sisterly love.

A glimpse of a great future.

Heart of Worship

On Saturday night we took the girls to their first rock concert. We saw Starfield and Hillsong United at the Molson Amphitheatre. I am still in shivers at how cool it is that I live in a country where a Christian band plays the same theatre as Metallica.

I knew of Starfield before the concert, but not Hillsong United. Nick assured me I knew their songs, but I sure didn't recognize anything they played. The fun part was that they're a worship band so you can catch on so easily. It was uber awesome to be in a "room" of 13,000 youth worshiping in the middle of Toronto. The sound was deafening and it wasn't even the band that was loud. It was all these voices of all races and ethnicities of teenagers and the people dedicated to teenagers worshiping God.

After Starfield had done their set the speaker that travels with Hillside United came out to give away some free stuff and what not. He made a comment that he was so excited because tonight he saw the future of the church. I'm sure he said that at every concert which only adds to the awesomeness of the comment. He said he saw the future of the church in the youth in the room and they are a mobile and passionate future.

And I got weapy.

While Starfield was singing I had Isabella standing on the seat in front of me and she was clapping along with the crowd, and cheering 'yoo hoo' at the appropriate times. She got totally caught up in the worship with everyone else doing her little singing voice that is sounds when she doesn't even know the words. At one point she even had both of her arms up in the air, stretched to heaven, worshipping. Sure she's 2 and in that copy cat stage, but that's how we all start worshipping authentically. First we copy those around us and then we find our own voice.

My back started to ache and Nick took Isabella and put her on his shoulders. I guess you could stay she was still worshipping, head banging counts right? She knows how to do the fist thing with the head bob, she has not yet grasped the horns. I think she clapped and screamed and called 'Encore' as loudly as the crowd around us.

A mobile and passionate generation. That is the future of the church.